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What Are the 7 Stages of the Grief Cycle?

Many kinds of loss can result in grief or emotional suffering. Most people associate grief with death, which is the most intense mourning. Other types of loss include relationship breakup, health or job loss, loss of dreams of finances, serious illness of a loved one, miscarriage and loss of safety or friendship. Even less intense losses, such as moving, graduation, selling a home or retirement can cause grief. Everyone may not process through the grief stages in the same order, and some people may not experience one or more of the stages.

  1. Shock

    • During the first stage of grief, the body protects itself through shock, disbelief and denial. This numbness provides you with emotional protection so you are not completely overwhelmed, which may last for weeks. Expecting a phone call from the deceased loved one or looking at the clock, waiting for him to walk in the door are common reactions.

    Sadness

    • Sadness, pain and guilt accompany the second stage of grief. After the shock wears off, the pain may completely overwhelm you at times. By facing it fully, you will be able to move through this stage in a healthy manner. Regret may play a role as you remember ways you could have better demonstrated your love. This stage is experienced across cultural boundaries worldwide.

    Making Deals

    • During this third stage, many people make unrealistic promises they cannot keep. You may try to bargain with God or a higher power to bring the person back.

    Anger

    • During the fourth stage of grief, anger can result in venting. While this can be constructive, be careful that it does not destroy other already stressed relationships. Common objects of anger include God, yourself and the doctors. You may even be angry at your deceased loved one and ask, "How could you leave me?"

    Depression

    • The fifth stage of grief, depression, can also be a part of the process. This stage is a time for reflection of past memories and both good times and bad. This depression is not clinical, although if unchecked, it can cycle into more serious issues.

    Fear

    • Fear and anxiety signify the sixth stage of grief. You may think about your own death or the death of other close family members. The loss can even trigger panic attacks. You may wonder how you can accomplish all you need to do and feel overwhelmed.

    Hope

    • The final stage of grief moves toward the future with hope. While this does not mean instant happiness, you can begin to plan activities for the future. The overwhelming pain will be gone, but sweet memories will remain. Joy will eventually come.

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