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Four Practical Questions That Need to Be Answered When Planning a Family

If you are thinking of starting a family, there is more to consider than basal thermometers, potential due dates and tiny socks. Having a child will change your life fundamentally in ways you could never expect. Most people know (or think they know) about the expense, the sleepless nights and the curtailed travel, but there are other things to consider when deciding when and how to begin your family.

  1. Long View

    • Are you willing to take on another full-time job? It only starts with having a baby; the baby will grow into a child and then into a teen. You will be fully responsible for another human being for at least the next 18 years. Even though you may have family, friends, babysitters and teachers to help out, the buck stops with you---no matter what else you are doing, how difficult the job or how much you want a break. Parenthood can be extremely rewarding, but there is a lot of plain hard work involved---and no vacation days.

    Money

    • Can you afford to start a family? Having a baby is expensive, and the expense does not stop at the child's birth. According to the United States Department of Agriculture's 2009 report on the Expenditures on Children by Families, yearly child-support costs increase with the age of the child, and the estimated cost for a middle-income family to raise a child to the age of 18 is $286,050. That number does not include prenatal care, college expenses, extracurricular activities or piano lessons. Expenses vary according to your income, where you live and whether you're a single parent---but it's never cheap.

    Partnership

    • Is your relationship solid? LuAnn Pierce from Selfhelp Magazine says that the two-year mark and the five-year mark are significant milestones in a marriage or other partnership; many of them won't make it past that point, she says, so you should wait until you have been together at least that long before you start a family. A child's parents should have the same basic child-rearing philosophy and should agree on discipline and pertinent issues. Having a child will take most of the focus off your relationship and put it on the child for the next two decades, so you both must be committed to seeing it through.

    Health and Welfare

    • Are you physically ready to raise a family? It is a task that requires strength, flexibility and endurance. Pregnancy and childbirth are hard on a woman's body, and both parents need to be healthy to ensure they will be around until the children are grown. If you have trouble with drugs or alcohol, deal with your addictions before adding a child to the mix; and if you have unresolved mental or marital issues, seek counseling first. That way your fledgling family will get off to a strong start.

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