Five Parts of Critical Listening Skills

Learning to be a good listener will help you in personal and business relationships. In order to improve your listening skills, you need to focus on the other person. If you remember a time when someone did not really pay attention to you, you know the uncomfortable feeling it can be. Acknowledge what others say by maintaining eye contact and simply nodding. You want the speaker to know you are interested. Five parts of critical listening skills will help you really hear the other person.

Focus and Pay Attention

• Focus on the speaker and pay attention to him. Match your nonverbal body language with your words so he knows you are listening. Look at him while he speaks and don't let distractions get in the way. In a group setting, don't talk to others if a main speaker has the floor. Don't try to find something to counter the speaker's thoughts.

Listen Actively

• Communicate through your body language that you are focusing on the speaker. You want to not only understand the meaning of the conversation but you want to connect emotionally through a smile and interested expressions. Remain engaged by nodding from time to time, keeping an open stance and encouraging the speaker with little verbal affirmations.

Offer Feedback

• Provide input into the conversation so that you can better understand what the speaker says. This will probably mean that you need to paraphrase what the speaker's own words. Say something like the following, "I am hearing you say....." or "Do you mean....." Ask additional questions or ask for extra information if needed for clarification.

Wait to Pass Judgment

• You have filters, beliefs and life history that can distort your perception of a conversation. This can cause you to judge what you hear before you know the whole story. Wait to speak until the speaker finishes. Don't interrupt. It frustrates both you and the speaker. Allow the speaker to state his thoughts so you can grasp his full meaning. Be aware of any of your own biases toward the subject or toward the speaker.

Respond Accordingly

• Be respectful in the conversation. State your opinions clearly but nicely. You don't need to be obnoxious. As you engage in active listening, you demonstrate understanding and honoring the other person. Your intention is to gather information and see his perspective. You will not benefit by putting anyone down.