Spousal Abuse of Men

Abuse is common in many households and relationships and involves mental, physical, or sexual abuse. The focus is primarily on women and children, and abuse on men is easy to overlook. Little is known about spousal abuse on men due to the few number of men who report it. Regardless of whether it is male or female abuse, there is little to no difference between these types of abuse.

Characteristics

• In spousal abuse, many men find that he fears his counterpart. He often watches what he does or says in order to not upset his partner. Often his partner yells and embarrasses him in front of family or friends. She may blame him for everything wrong in the relationship without holding any accountability of her own. Additionally, she may make it seem as if she owns him, as if he were an object. His self-esteem may deteriorate, and often he feels like he is not good enough. He may either feel helpless or come to the conclusion that he deserves this abuse.

Emotional Abuse

• Emotional abuse involves arguments that usually result in intimidation, embarrassment or isolation from others. The partner may include threats of physical violence and may or may not act upon them. Emotional abuse does not always result from arguments, however, and also can happen on a daily basis. This abuse involves controlling how the man spends his money, only allowing him a limited amount of money; stealing money from him; or even causing problems at his work.

Physical Abuse

• Violence towards a spouse or partner involving physical abuse is known as domestic violence. Fights might begin as an argument or threat, but eventually may lead up to physical violence. This commonly occurs when spouse is trying to control or obtain control of the male. Domestic violence can be much more than physical abuse. For many males, it tends to leave emotional scars that may be far worse than the physical ones.

Sexual Abuse

• Sexual abuse can sometimes result from physical abuse. While this notion may seem impossible due to the relationship of the two spouses, it can happen. Even if sexual activity has been consensual in the past, the male partners' feelings may change depending on the situation or atmosphere of the relationship. Sexual abuse occurs when a one partner forces another to commit a sexual act that he does not want to engage in.

When to Seek Help

• Many abused men are scared or confused when it comes to finding help. Many outlets encourage women to seek help whenever she is experience abuse, but there has been little motivation for men to do the same. Anytime emotional, physical or sexual abuse occurs, it is time to get out of the situation or seek help. If you have been isolated from those who you trust, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TTY). The hot line provides victims with confidential and anonymous help 24 hours a day, seven days per week.