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Gifts for Men With Cancer

It goes without saying that anyone fighting cancer can use a little lift, but the sensation of losing control of his life that accompanies the diagnosis can be almost as hard for a man to face as the diagnosis itself. His friends and loved ones, fearful that they might say the wrong thing, often say nothing at all, leaving him to try and "be strong" alone if he's too proud to ask for help. A thoughtful gift, lovingly given, can help him to know you're still there to support him.

  1. Stress-busters

    • While he may be temporarily unable to work through his aggressions by chopping wood or running 10 miles, a cancer patient still experiences a certain amount of nervous tension. If he likes to putter outside give him a tabletop Zen garden, with a miniature rake for the sand. There are gel-filled stress balls that he can squeeze when he's anxious and "first person shooter" video games he can play when he's angry. If he likes the smell of lavender, give him a lavender-scented candle or sleep pillow --the scent is very soothing.

    Hospital Survival Kit

    • Even with the best care in the world, hospitals are cold and impersonal places. Give him a basket containing unscented lotion and lip balm, paperback books and magazines, bottles of water or ginger ale and his favorite hard candies. Hospital beds are notoriously uncomfortable, so add a thick pillow and a fleecy blanket. If he has lost his hair, include a warm beanie to wear during the day and a soft cotton sleep cap for night time.

      To help keep him organized give him a notebook and a pen (an "astronaut" pen, which does not need to be held straight up-and-down to work, is good for someone bedridden); to entertain him, try an MP3 player loaded with his favorite music. If you want to splurge, give him a hand-held gaming system and a couple of games, or even a notebook computer--most hospitals have free Wi-Fi available.

    Humor

    • A sense of humor is an important tool in a battle against cancer, so give him a lot of chances to laugh. Compilations of Dave Barry's newspaper columns are especially appealing to men, as are Patrick McManus' "outdoorsman" books. Give a season of his favorite TV sitcom on DVD or (when he's feeling up to it) spring for a couple of seats at your local comedy club. If he's bedridden or hospitalized, send him a card with a handwritten joke inside every couple of days--just knowing that you're thinking about him will cheer him up, too.

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