How to Care for My Mother

As the saying goes, "once a grownup, twice a child". With scientific and medical advances, the elderly population is larger than in recent history. Taking care of your mother can be emotionally exhausting. Not only do you have to deal with the constant demands of another adult, but you have to accept that the person who once was a pillar of strength is now completely dependent upon you. Know that you don't have to deal with the burden alone. If you don't have family or friends to talk to, contact a local caregivers support group.

Instructions

• 1

  Be honest about your feelings. Caring for a parent who is aging or ill is emotionally and physically exhausting. Don't mask your emotions. Know that its alright to be frustrated, scared and overwhelmed. Your mother is likely feeling these feelings as well. Give each other permission to be honest about this difficult time.

• 2

  Keep it in perspective. Although your mother is not the vibrant woman you once knew, remind yourself (and her) who she really is inside. Post pictures of your mom all around the house from different phases of her life, all the way from childhood to the present day. Remind yourself that you will also be elderly one day, and treat your mother as you would like to be treated. Remembering that life is short will help you treasure the happy moments and lessen the heartache of the difficult ones. Remind yourself that this too shall pass.

• 3

  Take breaks. Realize that your goal is to deal with your mother from loving, patient, compassionate perspective. When you feel yourself unable to deal with her from a calm space, take a break. Find somewhere to be alone and rejuvenate your spirit. Watch something funny or read something inspirational, exercise or meditate, go to the middle of the woods and scream and cry at the top of your lungs. Pray, cook or go get your nails done. Give yourself what you need.

• 4

  Maintain your health. You can easily get so caught up in care taking that you neglect yourself. Eat regular, healthy meals. Exercise and drink plenty of water.

• 5

  Ask for help. Meet with healthy family members and ask them to pitch in and relieve you whenever they can. Don't keep a stiff upper lip. Allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable about what you need and how you feel.

• 6

  Take advantage of community resources. Join a support group, whether online or in person. Research government programs; you might be eligible for help with medical, rent and food expenses, as well as nursing help.