How to Deal With Denial in Substance Abuse

Whenever a person is faced with a difficult and stressful situation, like substance abuse, denial is a common response. Denial can range from a full-blown refusal to accept reality, to a partial acceptance through comparison, to an acknowledgment mitigated by a justification of the behavior. All are forms of denial because they block out the degree of problem and the negative consequences that spring from it. However, recovery from substance abuse cannot take place until the user and those around him accept the problem and take responsibility for their part in it. Only then can healing begin.

Instructions

Friends and Loved Ones

• 1

  Recognize that denial is not the same as lying. Lying is a conscious act; a liar knows when she is lying and chooses to do it. A person in denial honestly believes what she is saying, so don't accuse her of lying or treat her like a liar.

• 2

  Ask yourself if you are contributing to the denial by making excuses or justifications for his abuse. "He's abusing drugs, but he just went through a divorce, job loss, death in the family, etc." is a form of denial as well. You cannot help him deal with his denial if you are in denial yourself.

• 3

  Don't take what the abuser says personally. In the steps she will take to deal with her denial, she may go from a total inability to admit she has a problem to blaming others for her abuse. Keep in mind she is sick and is trying to find a way to defend her actions.

• 4

  Let a person the abuser trusts be the person to confront and discuss the substance abuse with him. It is a waste of time for anyone he does not trust to try to talk with him about the problem because the lack of trust will just become an excuse to deny what is being said.

Self

• 5

  Pay attention to your reactions when a trusted friend or loved one tries to discuss substance abuse with you. Do you feel angry or defensive and want to retreat or lash out? If so, you may be in denial because denial is a defense mechanism to help you avoid a truth you'd rather not admit.

• 6

  Accept that everyone has issues that he is in denial about; denial is normal. But just because a person is in denial about something does not mean it does not exist. You are just as capable of being in denial about your substance abuse problem as another person could be about his issues.

• 7

  Try to be open-minded and ask yourself questions when the issue of substance abuse comes up. Could it be possible that this person sees things about you that you don't? What things in what she says are true? Why am I so threatened by what she is saying?

• 8

  Talk openly with another person about your answers to these and other questions. Sometimes what makes sense in our minds doesn't ring true when spoken out loud. Dealing with denial is a process, and this questioning is the first part of it.