Help for Families to Stop Drinking Alcohol

Drinking too much can wreak havoc on a person's life and the lives of everyone in their family. Alcoholism is destructive, will become progressively worse over time and will continue to negatively affect all family members until changes are made. If you want to help a family member stop drinking alcohol there are steps you can take.

You First

• You must take care of yourself before you can help anyone else. Relationships that involve alcohol often change for the worse as conflict increases, feelings are hurt, and trust is broken. The nonalcoholic family members may develop low-self esteem, codependency and depression and even suffer physical abuse. Often, all attention is given to the alcoholic, leaving the spouse or children suffering on their own.
  Educate yourself. Knowing what you are dealing with will help you overcome the damage it has caused. Realize that alcoholism is a disease. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't stop it. Focus on trying to understand the disease rather than trying to understand the actions of the alcoholic.

What You Can Do

• The level of alcohol dependency will determine the best steps to take. If the alcoholic is in the early stage of the disease, you may be able to talk to him when he is calm and sober about how he is affecting the family. You should plan this conversation ahead of time and prepare for resistance. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism suggests presenting the alcoholic with specific problems that have occurred as a result of the drinking, as this will help him realize that issues exist.
  Another way to help is refusing to enable the drinker. Alcoholics will not change if you make it easy for them to keep drinking. Some examples of enabling actions are: calling in sick for them when they can't work; giving them money when you know they will spend it on alcohol; and spending time with them in an environment where they will be drinking. Nobody likes to admit he has a problem. It may be embarrassing to someone with a drinking problem to have lost control of his life. Speak to him with encouraging words and refrain from criticism even if you are angry, as it will not be productive.

Reality

• The person with the drinking problem must want help in order for lives to change for the better. Remember, you did not cause the disease, and you cannot make it go away. Convincing the alcoholic to seek professional help is the best thing you can do.

Resources

• A good place to learn more about alcohol abuse and alcoholism is in support groups such as Al-Anon and Alateen. These groups consist of friends and relatives of alcoholics. You may find information from these groups about how to facilitate a recovery for everyone in your family.