How Can I Help My Boyfriend With His Drinking Problem?

Being in love with someone who has a drinking problem is often a painful experience. It is important to recognize that the situation is not hopeless. There are many resources and support networks available for people who are willing to get treatment. However, if you expect your boyfriend to give up his urge to drink, you must also be willing to give up your urge to enable and support him in spite of his drinking. You must offer tough love.

Instructions

• 1

  Research alcohol abuse in order to better understand and define your boyfriend's drinking problem. Consult the The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism's (NIAAA) "How can you tell if someone has a problem" checklist to see if he shows symptoms of a possible alcohol problem (see Resources). Call the National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Routing Service to ask about treatment programs in your local area (see Resources).

• 2

  Explain to your boyfriend why you think he has a drinking problem. Talk to him shortly after an alcohol-related issue has occurred but when both of you are sober and calm. According to the NIAAA, this is the best time to discuss a drinking problem because the issue is relevant but not heated. Use specific examples of when his drinking has had adverse results. Tell him that you love him, but explain how his drinking has had a negative impact on your relationship.

• 3

  Ask him to get professional help and emphasize that you need him to take immediate action. Explain to him that you will support him throughout the treatment process. If he agrees to get help, ask him to call and make an appointment immediately following your conversation. By demanding immediate action you can avoid empty promises.

• 4

  Tell your boyfriend how you will react if he refuses to get help. Plan what you will say ahead of time and stick to it. You must be willing to follow through on your word in order for him to take you seriously. Helping a loved one overcome an addiction is often counter intuitive because it requires "tough love." Even though it may feel like you are abandoning him, you must let him experience the negative impact of his actions.

• 5

  Ask your boyfriend's friends and families members to also try and convince him to get help. According to the NIAAA, a friend or family member who is a recovering alcoholic may be more convincing. Group interventions are an option, though the NIAAA recommends they are done only under the supervision of a health care professional.

• 6

  Support your boyfriend during his treatment. Offer to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with him. Engage with his new routine and respect that alcohol is likely to remain a temptation for him for the rest of his life.