Telling a Child About an Addicted Parent

Although it's difficult to tell a child his parent is addicted to a certain substance or behavior, keeping the secret can cause more damage than telling the truth. Kids can tell when something is wrong; by not being upfront you run the risk of the child assuming the problem lies within. When telling a child about his parent, keep his mental and emotional stability your first priority. Do not alert a child to a problem if you are not prepared to help him deal with it.

Instructions

• 1

  Take the child to a peaceful place. If the child is being raised in a dysfunctional environment, telling him about drug abuse inside that environment might make the future seem hopeless. Choose a calming location, like a park or a lake.

• 2

  Use age-appropriate words. Do not tell a five year old that mommy is a drug addict, and don't tell a 15 year old that his parent takes bad medicine. Don't make the situation seem worse, or better than it really is. A child of an addicted parent likely has pre-existing trust issues; don't compound his problems by giving false hope or crushing his spirit unnecessarily.

• 3

  Help the child understand that addiction is a disease for which there is no known cure. Explain that his parent wants to be better, but can't right now. Tell the child it's alright to love his parent as much as he wants to, but know that his love is powerless to stop the parent from giving in to the addiction. The power to stop must come from within the parent. Reiterate that the addiction is not the child's fault and that he isn't alone.

• 4

  Point the child towards resources that can help. Help him sign up for counseling and social services, or talk to a minister, teacher or family friend who can help. Help him find support groups for other children or teens surviving the same issue.

• 5

  Sit in silence and allow him to feel his feelings. Don't ask right away how he feels, or pressure him to respond to anything you've said. Listen if he wants to talk, or understand if he doesn't.

• 6

  Tell him that having an addicted parent does not reflect who he is. He isn't "the kid with the addicted parent." Remind him that he came from his parent, but his is the master of his own fate.