Psychological Impacts on Children of Alcoholics

Approximately 26.8 million children of alcoholics live in the United States. Children of alcoholics create psychological defenses to function in a dysfunctional family. Adult children of alcoholics risk either becoming alcoholics or enablers of alcholics. Counseling can help ensure that children of alcoholics don't repeat the same pattern of abuse throughout adulthood.

Responsibility and Blame

• Children believe their behavior causes the drinking.

  Some children feel the need to blame themselves and take responsibility for the alcoholic's drinking problem. They believe that if they do better or try harder the alcoholic won't drink. This pattern overrides normal childhood development patterns. Children make mistakes and need parental guidance and support. Unfortunately, in an alcoholic home, a simple mistake can become magnified and evolve into a reason for excessive drinking. Connecting common childhood misbehavior as the cause of improper adult behavior makes children feel accountable and responsible for the alcoholic's behavior. Some children in this situation may try to control the drinking by striving for perfection. Others may withdraw from family and avoid any actions or interactions that they believe cause the drinking.

Behavior and Identity Development

• Acting silly helps children cope with alcoholism.

  To cope in an alcoholic family, some children will adopt certain character traits. Children may become high achievers, trouble-makers, comedians or peacemakers in an attempt to draw attention away from the main issue and maintain order in the home. Some children of alcoholics are not able to develop identities naturally. Behavior patterns that evolve as coping mechanisms prevent children from learning normal, healthy behavior traits. Coping mechanisms can develop into personality disorders in adulthood. The high achiever may become a perfectionist or a workaholic. The trouble-maker may become involved in crime. The comedian may never reach emotional maturity.

Self-Worth

• Alcoholism can cause children to develop a negative self-image.

  Children who grow up in a dysfunctional alcoholic environment often suffer from low self-esteem. Dysfunctional parents do not provide a loving, nurturing environment that children need for emotional development. Children raised in dysfunctional families struggle with trust issues, individuality and self-control. Children who are unable to develop as individuals and feel no sense of self-worth become dependent on others to meet emotional needs. As adults, they may turn to alcohol to suppress unmet emotional needs.

Co-Dependent

• Co-dependent tendencies may emerge in children who are blamed for adult problems.

  As an adult, a child of an alcoholic may subconsciously seek and maintain a relationship with an alcoholic. Co-dependency is an unhealthy attachment to another person. Co-dependents often try to control the alcoholic and believe they can cure the problem. Some co-dependents thrive in chaotic environments and need to be needed. Taking responsibility for another person's negative behavior, repeating unhealthy behavior patterns and lacking a sense of self-worth are characteristic traits of a co-dependent.