How to Recover From a Stillbirth

Stillbirth is a tragic situation in which a fetus reaches at least 20 weeks but at some point thereafter it fails to survive. The death can occur while you are carrying the baby or during the labor and delivery process. Since the problem can be caused by a number of factors, the American Pregnancy Association suggests that you request an autopsy for specific answers. In addition to seeking reasons, however, you also need to give proper consideration to recovery.

Instructions

Discovery Before Delivery

• 1

  If the death is discovered before delivery, your doctor will give you a choice of how you want to proceed. Decide whether to continue carrying your baby until labor begins naturally or choose to be induced so that delivery can occur immediately. Make this choice based on your personal preferences, unless you are given medical reasons why one option is preferable.

  Consider that the American Pregnancy Association has noted that there is no correct choice. Some women are more capable of beginning their emotional recovery if they are induced and the issue is put behind them. Other women prefer to begin grieving while still carrying the fetus because it provides an opportunity to adjust to the fact that the upcoming birth will not produce a living child.

• 2

  Spend time with your child after delivery. Making memories can help you to fill the void and promote your emotional recovery. Engage in activities that you would have if your child was born alive. Have hospital staff measure her and make imprints of the hands and feet. Take a lock of her hair, dress her, and take photographs of her. Consider a religious ceremony such a baptism or christening.

• 3

  Begin attending to your physical needs immediately. Unless there were complications during the delivery, you will require the same care that is required in the case of live births - time to heal and rest. Take warm baths to alleviate the pain if your breasts hurt. Allow any milk that you have to dry up naturally. Remember to abstain from sexual intercourse for at least six weeks or for the duration advised by your doctor.

• 4

  Expect to bleed for a while, but report to a doctor if the bleeding continues for more than three weeks. Also, inform your doctor if you experience fever or cramping, as these are potential indicators of a problem.

• 5

  Get the support you need by discussing your feelings with your partner and your family and friends. Remember that your partner may also need your support for his emotional recovery. Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings or join a support group if talking to your loved ones does not feel like it is helping you enough.

• 6

  Allow yourself to grieve for as long as it takes. The grieving period is different for everyone.