Living With a Bipolar Wife

When you and your spouse married, you likely looked forward to an idyllic life together, a future free of drama and discord. Your reality, however, may differ from your expectations. However, despite the challenges of living with a wife who has bipolar illness, you remain committed to her in sickness and in health. In an interview published on www.Health.com, Dr. David Miklowitz, author of The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide, says that the chance for a person with bipolar illness to enjoy a productive, stable life increases considerably with good treatment and support.

Accept the Challenge

• If your spouse has the mental disorder known as "bipolar illness," it may create challenges for both of you. The illness, if untreated, may cause irrational and unpredictable behavior and dramatic mood swings, from elation to deep depression. When your wife exhibits bipolar illness symptoms, you may feel frustrated and discouraged. Her behavior may hurt your feelings, and you might lose your patience at times. You must devise a plan to prevent symptoms from occurring; otherwise, they may escalate to crisis proportions.

Devise a Plan

• Choose a time when your wife feels well enough to engage in a rational, reasonable conversation. Familiarize yourself with the medications she must take, and emphasize your commitment to support her efforts to stay well. This might provide an opening for you to explain to your spouse the importance of following her doctor's instructions for taking the medication. Discuss what you should do if bipolar symptoms begin to surface, and recall past strategies that successfully stopped the symptoms. Encourage your wife to explain what you should do to help keep the bipolar symptoms at bay, as well as what to do and whom to call if symptoms worsen or reach a critical juncture. Ask your wife to identify triggers that provoke symptoms.

Encourage your Wife

• Stress significantly compromises the stability of a person suffering from bipolar illness. Do whatever is possible to eliminate situations that you know or suspect will cause your wife to feel anxious or stressed. By encouraging her to eat nutritious foods and to adhere to a healthy sleep schedule, you may help your spouse maintain emotional balance. Discourage through example the consumption of sugary snacks, drinks containing caffeine or alcohol, and the use of recreational drugs--all of which may affect your wife's moods in undesirable ways, possibly setting off any number of bipolar symptoms.

Take Care of Yourself

• Besides looking after your wife's needs and helping her manage the bipolar illness, do not overlook the importance of taking time for yourself and keeping your own body healthy. Begin by getting sufficient sleep each night. Try to eat a healthy diet, and work off your stress and anxiety by reserving a block of time for exercise. The relaxation you derive as a result may help to reduce some of the tension in your home, defusing a potential stress-influenced bipolar episode.

Support

• You may find it helpful or necessary to assemble a support team for you and your wife to consult regarding aspects of her treatment. This group might include your spouse's physician, psychiatrist, social worker and rehabilitation specialists. You might also want to include your rabbi or minister for spiritual support. While these professionals can provide valuable assistance, confidentiality laws may prevent them from sharing all of your spouse's information with you.