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Anger Management Techniques for Women

Anger is an emotion, like all the others. It can be expressed in positive or negative ways. Many women learned they were not supposed to get angry, that "nice girls" need to take care of everyone else's feelings and suppress their own. These women need to learn how to experience and express their anger in a healthy manner instead of burying it, which can lead to depression. Other women express their anger explosively, causing harm to themselves and the people around them. They, too, need to learn healthier methods of anger management.

  1. Anger 101

    • Anger is a sign that our boundaries have been violated. If we don't feel angry when someone acts in a way that harms us, that can be a sign that we have suppressed our anger for too long, and we need to learn how to get in touch with it. On the other hand, people who feel angry at the smallest slights or infractions have an inflated sense of entitlement. They need to learn how to manage their anger so they will not behave abusively toward others.

    Identifying your anger

    • Dr. Laura Petrachek, PhD, LCSW, is a clinical psychologist who works for the San Francisco Probation Department as a provider of domestic violence treatment exclusively for women. On her website, Petrachek lists seven steps for anger control. The first is to "start with your upset feelings." By recognizing how you feel before you lose control, you can begin to manage your anger. After identifying your feelings, she recommends you identify the thoughts behind them and try to change them if they are not healthy, if for example you are trying to control other people. Petrachek advises setting realistic goals relating to the situation and then taking constructive action.
      Dr. Andrea Brandt, PhD., MFT, also specializes in women's anger management. According to Dr. Brandt, "Anger is not the problem. The problem is when we try to rid ourselves of the feeling that is supposed to be there." She encourages women to identify their anger and learn what this potent emotion is trying to teach them.

    Meditation as a tool

    • Many people find meditation helps them calm down. They start with sitting in a comfortable position, breathing in and out slowly, and reciting a simple phrase, such as, "Breathing in, I feel my anger. Breathing out, I release it." Ideally, people practice meditation for 20 minutes twice a day. It is not a magic cure, but through meditation, many people find they become more calm and better able to manage all their emotions.

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