How to Be More Social and Less Self-Conscious

While a certain amount of self-awareness can be positive and help you navigate tricky social situations, acute feelings of self-consciousness can inhibit you and hamper your ability to form friendships and other social connections. Shedding these feelings of inadequacy and fear can be a difficult process, and you may find that the guidance of a professional therapist or psychiatrist is helpful. Taking small steps to accept yourself and connect with the world around you can help you to be more social and less self-conscious.

Instructions

• 1

  Accept and celebrate your own interests and passions. Oftentimes, those who experience acute self-consciousness will play down their own personality in an attempt to not draw negative attention to themselves. If you want to wear bright colors or join the art club but don't out of fear that people will judge you negatively, you cut yourself off from the wonderful things that could come from being yourself. Start small with a bright coat of nail polish or decorating the front of your binder with one of your sketches. People will notice you, but they will notice you because you are confident enough to be yourself. Reaching out to the people who share your interests also helps you make new friends and build social networks.

• 2

  Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you enter a crowded room and immediately begin to feel self-conscious, it's partly due to the fact that you are comparing yourself to the other guests ("They are all prettier/smarter/cooler than I am") and fearing their reprisals. In reality, the people around you are consumed with their own insecurities and thoughts, just like you. When you find yourself comparing yourself to those around you, stop your negative thoughts by immediately listing three things you like about yourself. They could be small things (hair color, a particular skill) or large, but you will begin to celebrate the positive in yourself and crush the judgement that makes you self-conscious.

• 3

  Make a point of smiling at the people you meet during the day. When you smile at someone, sections of the brain that control mimicry are triggered, which means the person involuntarily wants to smile in return. Smiles communicate happiness and confidence, and when you trigger a smile, you automatically stimulate feelings of joy in the other person. Smiling helps you step outside of your own self-consciousness and makes other people perceive you as friendly and social.

• 4

  Say one nice thing to a stranger once a day. While we remember the people who judge or ridicule us, we also remember the people who made our day with a compliment or piece of praise. It doesn't have to be a huge statement filled with hyperbole, but saying something nice to someone can have a hugely positive effect. Telling the girl ahead of you in line at the coffee shop that you like her shoes, or congratulating a classmate on a successful project demonstrates that you are observant, confident and kind, three qualities that make a great friend. It also helps you step outside of your own comfort zone and could lead to conversations and new social connections.