How to Confront Hoarders Regarding Their Problem

Two million people in the United States are compulsive hoarders; they live in squalor, fill their homes with useless objects and are unable to get rid of junk and trash. Television programs have focused public attention on this previously-hidden problem. Sloppy housekeeping crosses the line into a serious mental condition when the piles of junk interfere with daily living and create an unsanitary and dangerous living environment.

Instructions

• 1

  Seek help from a doctor or another health professional; educate yourself about the condition and the best way to proceed before confronting the hoarder. It's important to plan ahead for the meeting, since a confrontation with a hoarder can quickly become ugly. Hoarding is thought to be a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or associated with bipolar disorder, depression or self-destructive tendencies. Hoarding may represent difficulty making decisions -- the hoarder can't decide what to keep or throw away and ends up doing nothing. She may unintentionally build up a wall to keep others away. Clinging to objects may be her outlet for feelings of abandonment, repressed anger. or a need to control her environment.

• 2

  Confront the hoarder, but be compassionate. Acknowledge that she has the right to live the way she wants and that she must make the decision to change. Encourage her to talk; listen and don't argue. Stay non-judgmental, as hoarding may be a direct reaction to being criticized and told what to do. Try to draw the hoarder out on why she chooses to live as she does and if she sees herself living this way in the future. For instance, if she has grandchildren who aren't allowed to visit her cluttered home, ask if her living condition is worth losing her relationship with them. If she is willing to change, help her proceed.

• 3

  Remain calm. The hoarder is undoubtedly in denial, so a mental health professional may be retained to attend the confrontation. If the confrontation is initiated by the hoarder's friends or relatives, they must offer reassurance that they love her and are concerned for her health and well-being. They must also warn the hoarder that she's likely to draw the attention of building inspectors or other municipal officials and may even lose her home.

• 4

  Hire a junk removal service. Tell the hoarder in advance that trucks will be coming to collect the junk. While she may initially agree, she's likely to resist once the process actually begins. The hoarder typically doesn't see or admit that there is a problem. She experiences great anxiety when deciding what to keep or throw away. She may argue that she intends to read all the old books and newspapers that pile up around her, or may insist that she will someday use the stacks of junk to make crafts. She may experience shame when outsiders see how she lives or become upset when others move her belongings.

• 5

  Set a completion deadline. Explain that the mental health professional and the junk removal crew are on the clock, so there won't be time to obsess over every object. Don't allow the hoarder to manipulate everyone with threats or drama. In some cases, hoarding becomes a device for getting the attention that the hoarder feels she's been denied. Stick to the schedule and keep everyone focused on the process. Allow the hoarder as much autonomy as possible in choosing what belongings to keep, because the hoarder feels a desperate need to control her life and environment. Once the initial cleanup is completed, the hoarder should receive help from a mental health professional and a household organizer so that the hoarding doesn't continue.