How to Overcome the Fear of Kissing in Public

The fear of kissing in public is called Philemaphobia, a social phobia that is usually associated with a traumatic event in a person's past. A person who is afraid of having people see them kiss in public will automatically feel anxiety when the brain triggers a past event that is related to the kissing that is about to happen. While there are many different forms of treatment for Philemaphobia, finding the one that works for you is a process of trial and error.

Things You'll Need

• Therapist
• Books on fears
• Meditation techniques

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Instructions

• 1

  Are you afraid of kissing or have a phobia of it?

  Decide if your unwillingness to kiss in public is a fear that can be overcome on your own or a phobia that needs medical intervention. Being fearful of kissing because it is uncomfortable in public does not necessarily mean your relationships are affected, nor does it interfere with your daily life. Realize that if your fear turns into a phobia, however, your symptoms will be emotional (great anxiety) or physical (full-blown panic attack) and you will begin to see its excessiveness yourself.

• 2

  A therapist specializing in cognitive behavior can help.

  Check with your insurance company to see which board-certified psychotherapists are covered in your area. Call the office and tell the receptionist you might have Philemaphobia. Find a therapist that has experience dealing with phobias and fears. A special treatment called cognitive-behavioral therapy is used to help people with fears and phobias. Using this method, about 75 percent of patients overcome their phobia, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

• 3

  This therapy breaks down the power you feel the phobia has over you.

  Expose yourself to your kissing fear. Using a trained specialist and your partner, participate in systematic desensitization so that you are exposed in your therapy session to the very thing that you are afraid of. This will happen gradually, perhaps first holding hands with your partner in the therapy session and then talking about what you think will happen as a result of kissing in public. Through repeat sessions and actually kissing, you will witness the fear losing its power over you.

• 4

  Ask yourself rational questions about your fear.

  Read books and articles about fears and phobias. Understand where the kissing anxiety comes from in your life and begin to heal that experience by challenging the negative thoughts about kissing. Ask yourself what the worst possible kissing scenario would be and what might happen to you as a result. In doing this, you will find evidence that contradicts your thoughts about kissing in public.

• 5

  Find a relaxation technique that works for you.

  Practice relaxation techniques. Sit comfortably with your back straight and put one hand on your chest and one on your stomach. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth slowly. Or meditate right before you believe a kissing situation might arise. Wherever you are at the moment, take note of how your body parts feel and relax the tension-filled ones. If you are walking, concentrate on being mindful of each step and feel the rhythm of your breath in order to relax. Use guided imagery and imagine a scene in which you are at peace. See a sun setting in your mind or pretend you are listening to birds chirp, for example. The calming image of yourself allows you to let go of the impending anxiety over kissing.