How to Cure Shyness & Carry a Conversation

For people who suffer from excessive shyness, daily life can be difficult, especially when it comes to carrying on conversations with others. People with shyness tend to experience overwhelming feelings of discomfort, nervousness and anxiety when in social situations. If you feel that shyness has taken over your life and is preventing you from being happy and functional, take the appropriate actions in order to tackle the problem and live your life to the fullest.

Instructions

• 1

  Befriend yourself. Support is essential in making a major behavioral change. Support yourself by providing yourself with strong affirmations. Think honestly about what your best traits are. Repeat them to yourself several times on a daily basis. In order to be able to engage in positive social interactions with other people, you first need to learn how to be positive with yourself.

• 2

  Relax. In getting over shyness and conducting conversations with others, it is important to be able to relax your body and your mind. Soothe your body and your mind by eliminating tension, which can pave the path to calmness and serenity, even in nerve-wracking social situations. Practice deep breathing exercises. Keep your back straight, exhale, breathe in slowly, hold your breath (for about five seconds) and then steadily and slowly exhale out of your mouth.

• 3

  Eliminate negativity. As stated before, support is essential in successfully overcoming shyness. Stay away from people (whether they are family or friends) who are negative about you and who dissuade you from bettering yourself. A lot of shyness is associated with self-esteem issues, so cut out people who get in the way of your journey to achieving confidence.

• 4

  Prepare conversation topics. Practice makes perfect, and that includes in overcoming shyness, as daunting as that may seem. Many shy people are terrified at the thought of awkward silences in conversation and not knowing what to do next. To avoid this possibility, prepare beforehand by always having things to talk about. This can keep up the flow of the conversation and prevent awkward and uncomfortable silences. Ask someone what the last book they read was, or if they have seen a good film lately -- anything that can trigger and move along conversation.

• 5

  Tell people that you are shy. When you are trying to converse with another person, alert them to the fact that you are shy, instead of merely stammering, stuttering and turning red. The more they know about your situation, the better they will be able to accommodate you and the conversation. You also want to avoid people labeling you as aloof or conceited, which is a common misconception about shy people.

• 6

  Focus on individual social skills. Instead of overwhelming yourself with the burden of having to hold entire conversations with others, specifically focus on a single social skill at a time. Practice being the first person to say "Hello" to another person. Practice smiling at people (including strangers on the street). Get your feet wet, and learn gradually how to be comfortable interacting with other people.

• 7

  Ask questions. It's no secret that people enjoy speaking about their own lives. When you are nervous in a conversation and do not know what to say, instead of turning the focus on yourself, ask a lot of questions. Keep the other person engaged by displaying curiosity in their lives, whether it's about career, social activities or favorite television shows.

• 8

  Rehearse. Practice improving your conversational skills by rehearsing speech in front of a mirror. Take note of your appearance when you speak, from your facial expressions and eye contact to your posture and gestures. The more you are able to understand about how you come across in conversation, the better you will be able to work on it.