How to Overcome the Fear to Talk With Strangers

Fear of talking to strangers is a form of social phobia, which is fear of social or performance situations. It causes you to become anxious whenever you are faced with a situation that involves interacting with, or doing something in front of, people, especially if the people are strangers. Talking to strangers is a useful skill in our lives and our careers, so learning how to deal with the fear is important. There are strategies you can employ to help you get over your fear of talking to strangers and make those situations easier and more comfortable.

Instructions

• 1

  If you know you are going to be in a social situation, take time on your appearance to feel good about yourself. This does not require dressing to the nines or having full hair and makeup on every time you leave the house. Be clean, neat, and groomed. Maybe wear a favorite shirt, a splash of perfume or a favorite color for a lift.

• 2

  Realize you are not the only one. Fear of public speaking ranks number one on most lists of phobias. The stranger you are speaking to is probably just as afraid of you as you are of him.

• 3

  Recognize that people are a lot alike. Find or imagine a point of similarity between you and the other person. This will lessen the unfamiliarity and make it easier to talk to her.

• 4

  Let go of the assumption that you are being judged. The odds that the person you are speaking to is focusing on that ketchup you spilled on your shirt at lunch is a lot less than you think. Besides, no one's perfect and everyone has been there before themselves.

• 5

  Don't assume rejection and let it stop you from being the first one to say hi. The odds that you will be ignored or rebuffed are far greater in your mind than they are in reality.

• 6

  Develop a list of open ended questions to ask after you say hello. Everyone feels nervous during awkward silences, so create conversation by asking a question that requires more than a one word answer. You will probably learn enough from the answer to be able to make a comment or ask another question afterward.

• 7

  Listen actively, using both your eyes and your ears. A successful conversation involves you doing a lot more listening than talking. If a person feels "heard," he is a lot more willing to be open and talk. Be sure to smile, nod and give signs that you are paying attention.

• 8

  Practice often. Start small, smile and say "Hello, how are you?" to people you see regularly, but do not know personally, like a checkout person or bank teller. Build up to a conversation a bit at a time. Small successes boost your confidence and make it easier to go farther and be bolder.