How to Use Mothering Ways to Calm Anxiety

Anxiety can occur in children, adults and pets. You might get anxious at a dinner party (social anxiety). Or you might experience intense feelings of terror and loss of control (panic disorder). For any type of anxiety, being laughed at, told you are weak or being ignored does not help. Most people who are anxious want to be nurtured and supported with respect and kindness.

Instructions

• 1

  Recognize symptoms of anxiety as natural. The body is designed to react and become stimulated when you feel fear. It is often called the "fight or flight" response and it is a protective mechanism. Fast breathing, a quick heartbeat and sweating are all normal reactions to help the body prepare. And when these symptoms happen, it is natural to want to escape and get rid of them. Their cause is both biological and psychological. Take a few slow breaths and remember you are normal.

• 2

  Notice anxious thoughts and replace these with more calming ones. Physical sensations tend to cause fearful thoughts which in turn fuel symptoms. Anxious thoughts are over-estimations that something bad will happen and exaggerations of how severe consequences will be. So first ask your self: what horrible results am I expecting to happen? Then consider the reality of the situation. Are you 100 percent sure that this will occur? Think about what your Mom might say to you if she knew you were upset. Repeat a calm statement to yourself like, "I am loved and supported, and these feelings will pass."

• 3

  Face your fears a little at a time with love and support. Avoiding fears, according to the book, "10 Simple Solutions to Panic," makes them worse. Make a list of five to ten anxious situations with those triggering the most anxiety at the bottom and those least provoking at the top. Schedule a time, and pick one item toward the top of the list to confront. Ask a friend or loved one to come along and expect to have anxious feelings. Don't try to stop them but stay in the situation until the fears subside.

• 4

  Recreate uncomfortable physical symptoms to deal with them. Plan to hyperventilate or get dizzy. If dizziness is a trigger for you, set up a time to have a friend spin you in a chair until you experience the feelings. Jog in place for a few minutes and get your heart pumping if feeling your heartbeat causes anxiety. Put yourself in a hot environment to deal with sweating. But do all of this in a controlled manner and for a limited time.

• 5

  Laugh and make the situation silly. Dr. David Burns, author of "When Panic Attacks," suggests "shame-attacking exercises." If you are anxious that someone might laugh at you, go ahead and attach a piece of toilet paper to your shoe and then announce to everyone, "Look I have toilet paper on my shoe. I can't believe I did that." Most people will smile. It is like when your mom told you to imagine everyone in their underwear during a speech. See the humor in the situation and make yourself laugh about it.