How to Convince a Bipolar Spouse to Seek Help

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness marked by disruptive mood swings that can be mild or severe. Family members are often the first to recognize these symptoms; however people with bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses can sometimes resist getting help. Talking to your spouse about getting help for a mental illness is not easy. However preparing in advance for the conversation and anticipating your spouse's reaction will increase the chances of a successful intervention.

Instructions

• 1

  Arm yourself with facts. If you suspect your spouse has bipolar disorder, validate your suspicions by talking to your doctor. Be aware that many other physical and emotional ailments can mimic bipolar disorder. Your family doctor can supply you with the correct information and help you plan you conversation with your spouse.

• 2

  Know the language of the disorder. Some common terms used when talking about bipolar disorder include mania, depression, "acute phase," and "cycling." Mania refers to the phase of bipolar disorder marked by an increase in energy, impulsive behavior, grandiose thoughts and a decreased need for sleep. Depression refers to the opposite pole, when low energy, lack of motivation, sadness and hopelessness take over. The term "acute phase" refers to a full blown episode of either mania or depression, and "cycling" refers to the switch from one mood extreme to the other.

• 3

  Broach the subject with concrete examples of worrisome behavior. Talk to your spouse in a calm, supportive manner. Give concrete examples of behaviors that concern you. For example, "I'm worried about your staying up all night," or, "I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of money lately and I'm worried about it."

• 4

  Share observations of friends or family members to validate your concerns. "Steve mentioned your plan to quit your job and travel across country and was concerned," or "Your sister has also noticed that you seem to be making a lot of major changes. She worried because this is out of character for you."

• 5

  Stay clear of pitfalls. Although it may be tempting, try not to loose your temper, blame or shame your spouse. If the conversation starts to move in an accusatory direction, try steering back by saying, "I"m sorry, I"m just really worried about you." Your spouse is likely to stop listening if he feels ridiculed.

• 6

  Be ready for resistance Even though most people with bipolar disorder can be stabilized with medication and counseling, many people resist the diagnosis. Be prepared for your spouse to resist your concerns. You may need to have more than one conversation with her before she is ready to be evaluated.

• 7

  Use a team approach. Family members are a critical part in the management of mental illness, but you don't have to go it alone. Talk to your family physician for information about local mental health agencies. The National Association of Mental Illness and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance also have resources for family members.