Grandparenting Strategies for a Bipolar Grandchild

The much anticipated joy of being a grandparent can quickly be dashed as the reality of bipolar disorder pervades the family's life. This is the challenge of a life time and it requires new strategies. The overall best strategy is to develop empathy and understanding to carry you and your grandchild through the most difficult times.

Education

• It is absolutely essential for you to learn as much as you can about bipolar disorder in children. This is a complex, extremely difficult, neurological disorder. The only way you'll be able to help your grandchild is to have an understanding of mania, depression and rapid cycling. Become familiar with how symptoms may appear and how they'll impact your grandchild's life. Realize this isn't straightforward. Your grandchild may be irritated all the time, show extreme mood swings, or be manic and depressive simultaneously. Bipolar disorder affects emotions, behavior and cognition. Techniques to manage the range of issues are probably beyond any standard method you may rely upon. Go to appointments with the family so you can hear professional advice and ask questions. Join online support groups, or a real-world support group, to benefit from how others are helping their grandchildren.

Support the Parents

• Your child will be overwhelmed by the daily demands of parenting your bipolar grandchild. They will need your understanding and support as they confront anger, meltdowns, anxieties, interrupted sleep cycles, and unpredictable mood issues. They may become isolated from friends as their ability to socialize is diminished. Don't judge their attempts to manage your grandchild. There's a good chance they're already second-guessing their parenting skills and it doesn't help when others offer well-intentioned advice (that they've already tried many times). The challenges of bipolar disorder have nothing to do with lack of discipline or a spoiled child. Just like you, they are learning new ways to cope with an extraordinary challenge.

Create a Relationship

• More than anything your grandchild desperately needs a trusting relationship with you. It will be difficult, but never give up. Determine to develop a relationship, taking advantage of every available minute to build trust. Your precious grandchild may not have many successful relationships. They may alienate others with hyperenergy, incessant talking and severe inconsolable meltdowns. Depression may render them incapable and unmotivated to put effort into friendships. Whatever the cause, a relationship with you will be a lifeline. There will be times when they will act as though they couldn't care less and there will be times when their behavior is guaranteed to be frustrating and try your patience. This is when they depend on you to be a steadfast, loving and supportive grandparent.

Offer Time and Resources

• To whatever extent you are emotionally, financially and realistically able, offer time and resources to the family. This is not just about time with your grandchild, it's also about giving the parents time away to relax and recuperate. The family may face financial burdens as one parent quits working to devote time to managing your grandchild or because of the expense of medication and therapy. It may be impossible to find a babysitter who can manage your bipolar grandchild.

Help Siblings

• You can indirectly help your bipolar grandchild by paying extra attention to siblings so that they don't become resentful over the time being devoted to the child with bipolar disorder. You can also help them understand the nature of bipolar illness and encourage them to continue supporting their bipolar sibling.

Participate in Therapy

• Your grandchild may be engaged in therapy, possibly cognitive behavioral therapy. Take time to learn what they're doing and how you can help support them in this process.