How to Recover Self-Worth After Emotional Abuse

The negative things that someone says or does to you in a relationship can seep in after a while and cause you to doubt yourself. Once you have finally relieved yourself from the emotional abuse, recovering your self-worth is not something that always comes easily. The emotional pain that you suffered from can leave psychological scars. However challenging, it is possible to overcome thoughts of unworthiness and find the good in yourself. As with all types of wounds, emotional ones take time to heal.

Instructions

• 1

  Accept the circumstances. Now is not the time to start making yourself feel worse by wondering what you ever saw in the abusive person or dwelling on why you ever went out with that person in the first place. Focus on where you are in your life. You are on a path for recovery, and should look forward, not backward.

• 2

  Let your anger and sadness be expressed through a creative or healthy outlet. According to an article in "Psychology Today," suppressing your hurt feelings can cause your anger or sadness to build up inside, until you wind up having an emotional burst or breakdown. Some healthy ways to release and deal with your anger are to journal, draw or exercise -- which also helps with depression and anxiety -- and take up a new hobby, such as gardening.

• 3

  Make goals for yourself that focus on your strengths. After being emotionally abused, chances are your abuser squashed your dreams or made you feel like you aren't talented or good at anything. To build your self-worth again, you should do things that make you feel good about yourself. If, for instance, you have always wanted to learn a foreign language, finish your degree, volunteer at a children's organization or complete a triathlon, going for your goals can help you discover your talents once again.

• 4

  Perform self-worth exercises, such as making a list of all of your positive qualities and attributes. Each day, give yourself a new exercise. One day you can write down positive physical qualities, such as your silky hair or sea-green eyes, and another day you might research motivational quotes and record three of your favorites. In addition, write down any time someone gives you a compliment. A running list of the compliments you get can make you smile as you reread them.

• 5

  Start exercising. Exercise relieves symptoms of depression and anxiety, which you might be feeling after coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Exercising is also a physical activity that helps focus your mind on a task for the time being, and in the end can make you feel good about yourself. Not only do you accomplish something by working out, such as pushing yourself a little further on the stationary bicycle each time, but your body begins to look better too. In the end, you start to feel more confident. If you work out at a gym, the gym also acts as a social outlet for you. Overall, exercise is win-win for the mind and body.

• 6

  Keep the people in your support system close. Family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and other important people in your life who care about you are your support system. They are there to lift you up when you are down, so don't stop yourself from calling on them when you need an extra emotional boost. Having someone to talk to during this time is important for your recovery.

• 7

  Be patient. Do not expect to recover your self-worth overnight after the emotional abuse stops. Understand that it takes time to build up your self-image and self-esteem, so do not fall into a frustrated rut and think that you are incapable of overcoming it.