How to Control Narcissism

Narcissism is extreme self-admiration and focus on self. Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive and abnormal love of self, lack of empathy, obsession with success and exaggerated self-importance. Narcissists have a sense of entitlement, will exploit or take advantage of others and require excessive admiration. However, these behaviors mask, often unconsciously, underlying fear and low self-esteem. Narcissists often deny psychological dysfunction and impose arrogance toward doctors and psychologists, making treatment difficult. However, those individuals whose dysfunctional thinking has caused extreme personal, social and occupational stress may seek and engage in treatment. For those individuals, cognitive behavioral strategies exist that can help manage narcissistic tendencies.

Instructions

• 1

  Stop narcissistic thoughts. Learn to recognize these thoughts, most likely through therapy. When you begin to recognize them in your daily life tell yourself, "Stop." Correct the thought by making it more accurate. For example, if you say to yourself, "I am the reason my company won that award," correct it by thinking instead, "I contributed, but we worked as a team to win." Then redirect your thinking to another subject.

• 2

  Make a list of weaknesses. Narcissists use their extreme behaviors to hide insecurities. When you feel insecure or notice an area of personal weakness, acknowledge it and write it down. Accept that everyone has limitations in addition to their strengths. Admit that it is OK to have imperfections.

• 3

  Praise others. When you observe someone else doing something well, acknowledge this by praising the person. This is often difficult for narcissists, who feel that no one's actions measure up to their own. However, learning how to acknowledge others' actions provides the reward of gratitude. This gratitude may help replace the need for admiration.

• 4

  Step away. If you are in a situation in which you feel you cannot control narcissistic behavior, walk away. Gather your thoughts, contemplate alternative behaviors and return when you feel more comfortable. No one is perfect, not even a narcissist, and there are times when it may be impossible to control your behavior. Accept this weakness as well.

• 5

  Perform volunteer work. Attempt this once you have begun managing some of the more offensive behaviors, especially if you will be working among other people. Volunteer to work in a soup kitchen, answer the phones for a local fundraising drive, or take baked goods to a nursing home. Even donating blood is an act of kindness that serves to build empathy.