Borderline Personality Management Techniques

Borderline personality disorder, or BPD, is a mental illness that is characterized by extreme bouts of emotion. A person with BPD may be completely normal most of the time, but then suffer from anxiety, depression, aggression or other emotional extremes for short periods of time, such as a few hours or a day. This means that if you live with or near someone with BPD or if you have it yourself, you need to be able to manage it effectively. There are a few different ways you can do this.

Therapy

• The key management technique for BPD is therapy. People with BPD need to be in long-term therapy where they can identify, come to terms with and eventually resolve the deep-seated emotional issues that cause BPD. BPD is generally caused through external stimuli, such as childhood abuse, so it is important for sufferers to address these stimuli in order to address their disorder.

Medication

• Medication is usually prescribed on a short-term basis. For example, some BPD sufferers will exhibit psychotic tendencies when they are having an episode. They do not exhibit these tendencies all the time, so they will be prescribed a small course of anti-psychotics. The same goes for depressive episodes and bipolar episodes. They will be put on a course of drugs for the duration of the episode, but not kept on them forever.

Baby Steps

• If you have a loved one with BPD you need to focus on day-to-day things. BPD affects someone's entire life, and if you set high expectations for the person, he will pretty much always fall short. So, rather than expect him to "kick" his mental illness immediately, you should encourage him and praise him for day-to-day good decisions. Did he meet someone, like the other person, but not sleep with that person? Good work! Praise him for it. Did he go on to move in with that person in a week? Not so good -- but hardly unexpected. If you set your expectations lower, you won't be disappointed and you can help him work through it, one day at a time.

Walk Away

• If you're in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD and you have nothing keeping you with her (such as children), you should probably just walk away. This person needs help that you can't provide, and sticking around is only going to make it worse and drag you down with her. To make it easier, though, you need to make the relationship boring for a little while by not responding to loaded comments, not arguing and generally not giving the stimulation her illness requires. When you do leave, you need to do so calmly and quietly. Finally, you need to avoid all contact. Don't answer the phone, don't respond to emails, and delete her from social networking sites. It won't be easy, but both of you need this more than you need the relationship.