Relationships & Adults With ADHD

Adult ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can make having quality stable relationships very difficult. Learning about what the disorder is and how it affects all of life for the sufferer can make it easier to understand and empathize with that person. Knowing what someone with ADHD copes with every day can help someone to understand that they should not take symptoms personally.

ADHD Facts

• According to Medicinenet.com, four percent of the U.S. population, or 8 million adults, suffer from adult ADHD. ADHD is one of the most well-known disorders among children and sixty percent will carry the disorder over into adulthood. The exact cause is not known, but heredity may play a role. Head injury, a chemical imbalance and brain changes may also be responsible.

Symptoms of Adult ADHD

• Primary symptoms of adult ADHD include impulsivity, hyperactivity and distractibility. This often translates into chronic lateness and forgetfulness, low self-esteem, difficulty keeping a job, difficulty controlling anger, a low frustration tolerance, boredom, depression and relationship problems.

Relationship Challenges for People with ADHD

• It can be difficult for someone to have a relationship with a person suffering from ADHD. They are often easily angered and their moods are often unstable. They may struggle to communicate their anger and forget things necessary to keep a household running, such as picking things up at the grocery store or making a deposit at the bank. Their partner may find it very frustrating living with them. They sometimes feel that the work around the house is unevenly distributed. It may also seem as if they are getting "the short end of the stick" emotionally when it comes to their loved one with ADHD.

Positive Aspects of ADHD

• There may be major hurdles to jump in order to have a fulfilling relationship, but that does not mean that people with ADHD do not have plenty of positive aspects to balance the negative ones. Adults with ADHD are known to be very energetic and creative. They also tend to be outgoing and empathetic. Their resilience helps them to deal with their challenges both personally and in relationships.

Living With Someone Who Has Adult ADHD

• The most important thing a person in a relationship with someone who has ADHD can do is educate themselves. The more you know, the easier it is to understand the forgetfulness, lateness or anger and the more adept you will be at dealing with these situations. It can also help a partner embrace and focus on the more positive aspects of their loved one's personality and abilities.

  Couples struggling to make their relationship thrive might consider individual or marriage counseling by a master's- or doctorate-level psychologist or counselor. Trained therapists can help to open the lines of communication in a relationship where it might be suffering due to a partner's diagnosis.