Why does one feel so sad at leaving a relationship with narcissist even after accepting the futility of situation?

Ending a relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly emotionally challenging, even when you recognize the futility of the situation. Narcissists often create an intense bond with their partners, using manipulation, control, and emotional abuse to gain power and control. This dynamic can make it difficult to break free, even when you know that the relationship is unhealthy.

Here are a few reasons why you might feel sad after leaving a relationship with a narcissist:

1. Loss of Hope:

Narcissists often promise a future filled with love, support, and happiness. When you leave, you lose hope for the relationship that could have been. This can lead to feelings of profound sadness and disappointment.

2. Fear of the Unknown:

Leaving a narcissistic relationship means stepping into the unknown. It can be scary to let go of the familiarity of the relationship, even if it was painful. The uncertainty of what lies ahead can cause anxiety and sadness.

3. Traumatic Impact:

Living with a narcissist can be emotionally and psychologically traumatic. The abuse, manipulation, and neglect you've endured can have lasting effects on your mental health. Coming to terms with the trauma can be a difficult and emotional process.

4. Internalized Guilt and Shame:

Narcissists often make their partners feel like they are responsible for the relationship problems. They manipulate and gaslight their partners into believing they are the ones at fault. This can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, making it difficult to move forward.

5. Grief for Lost Time:

Leaving a narcissistic relationship means accepting the reality of time wasted in an unfulfilling and emotionally draining relationship. Grieving the loss of the time, energy, and emotions you invested can be a difficult emotional burden.

6. Complex Love and Attachment:

Narcissists have a way of creating a complex web of love and attachment. While there may be moments of affection, the relationship is ultimately characterized by emotional abuse and neglect. This can make it confusing to untangle your feelings and process your emotions.

7. Feeling Empty:

When you've been in a narcissistic relationship, your energy and identity may have become intertwined with your partner's. Leaving the relationship can create a sense of emptiness as you work towards rediscovering and rebuilding yourself.

Healing after a narcissistic relationship takes time and support. It's essential to allow yourself to grieve the loss, process your emotions, and focus on your well-being. Seeking professional help, such as therapy, can provide guidance and support during this challenging time.