How to be Depressed

Don't worry. Being depressed doesn't take that much effort. Learn how to have the blues 24/7!

Things You'll Need

• Hopelessness
• Doubt
• Self hate
• Negativity

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Instructions

• 1

  Feel hopeless. Never be thankful for all the good things you have, and never appreciate your self. Constantly compare your self to every one around you and always find flaws in everything you do.

• 2

  Doubt your self day in and day out. Each time you're about to work on a goal, constantly doubt that you can achieve it. Think of every negative word you can and apply it to your life.

• 3

  Isolate your self. Don't try to reach out for people to talk to about how you're feeling. Do what ever you gotta do to push people away: be rude, grumpy, harsh, heartless, and a continuous list of other nasty adjectives.

• 4

  Focus on all the negative things in your life. Magnify every problem you've ever had, have currently, and will have in the future, oh yea that's another thing; you must be able to predict a horrible future, always! This is essential in being depressed.

• 5

  Never, ever have fun! As far as you see it, having a good time is nowhere in your vocabulary or dialect, remember that. Don't watch cartoons, sitcoms that might cheer you up or funny movies. Only watch, listen, and talk about sad, sad things, 24/7!