How to Control Your Jealousy & Anger

Anger and jealousy are two powerful emotions that can be damaging to relationships, animals and property if they are not properly controlled. Unchecked anger and jealousy can cause you to lose control of what you say, do and think during heated moments, and the consequences can be devastating if you do not learn to control these emotions. Controlling these negative feelings before they escalate can be done through self-calming techniques, rational discussion and self evaluation.

Instructions

Controlling Anger

• 1

  Take 10 deep breaths whenever you feel yourself starting to become irate. Identify your anger when it begins and acknowledge the emotions. Acknowledging the angry emotions you feel will help you be more proactive in taking the steps necessary to solve the problem.

• 2

  Walk away from situations that cause you to become extremely angry. If you now that traffic causes your anger to rise, plan a new route or leave earlier or later to avoid the traffic.

• 3

  Express your anger when you are calm and able to think rationally about frustrating situations. It can be easy to say things during an argument that you don't actually mean, so taking a few minutes to collect your thoughts and rationalize your emotions will help you more effectively communicate how you feel.

• 4

  Use "I" statements to express how you feel to others. Instead of using an accusatory tone, use "I" statements to lessen tension and help others to understand why you're angry. For example, instead of saying, "You always leave your dirty dishes in the sink," say, "I feel upset and disrespected when dirty dishes are left in the sink."

• 5

  Exercise on a regular basis to relieve tension and elevate your mood. Slow exercises such as yoga can help relax you, and aerobic exercise can help you take the energy from your anger and use it for exercise.

• 6

  Remind yourself that getting furious is not going to solve your problems or make irritating situations go away. Use relaxation phrases such as "calm down, everything is OK," or, "relax, this situation can be changed," whenever you're feeling yourself starting to get irate.

• 7

  Seek therapy if your anger is uncontrollable or if you experience blind rage and cannot remember what you do or say when you get angry. If you become verbally or physically violent with people, animals or property when you're angry, it is important to seek professional help to address your extreme anger.

Controlling Jealousy

• 8

  Focus on the good qualities about yourself and reinforce positive feelings by consistently reminding yourself of these good qualities. Instead of focusing on qualities that you dislike and putting yourself down, think about those undesirable qualities and consider the different ways you can change them. For example, if you dislike your hair and get jealous of other people's hair, try a new style or get a completely new haircut that complements your features.

• 9

  Avoid comparing yourself to other people. Realize that because each person is unique in his or her own way, being jealous or comparing yourself to others does not solve any problems or change you. Rather than being jealous of someone else who has a trait you desire, recognize that you admire that person's qualities and aspire to develop traits like hers.

• 10

  Speak calmly and rationally with a spouse or significant other if you have feelings of jealousy in your relationship. Do not accuse the person of wrongdoing and explain to them, using "I" statements, about your feelings of jealousy and try to work with them to alleviate the situation. If you get jealous when your significant other gets too friendly with members of the opposite sex, explain to him that it makes you jealous and ask him to make an effort to show more restraint.