How to Go on Living Without Guilt and Shame

When you feel shame or guilt about something in your past, it's tough to think about anything else. Instead of concentrating on the positive aspects of your life, you focus on a mistake you made in your past. While it is normal to feel guilty about a wrongdoing, letting feelings of guilt and shame take over your life can cripple you mentally and physically. Learn strategies to deal with your guilt so you can live a happier life.

Instructions

• 1

  Determine the cause of your guilty feelings. Write down the things that cause your guilt, such as not spending enough time with your kids or saying something hurtful to a loved one. Decide how guilty you feel about each matter and why you feel that way.

• 2

  Accept responsibility and make amends. If your guilt is about something you can control, taking responsibility for your actions might make you feel better. For instance, if you feel guilty for saying a hurtful comment to a friend, apologize to your friend in person. Tell him that you are truly sorry for what you said and that you didn't mean to hurt him.

• 3

  Learn from your mistakes. If you pay attention to your past behavior, you can prevent doing something you regret in the future. For example, if you hurt your friend's feelings, think before you open your mouth.

• 4

  Do not talk negatively about yourself. Stop reminding yourself of things you "should" or "shouldn't" have done. Recognize that the past is the past, and dwelling on it will not make the situation better. Instead of living by unrealistic standards someone set for you, set your own standards.

• 5

  Seek support if your feelings of guilt don't go away. Talk to a trusted family member or friend about how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone you know, talk to a professional therapist or religious adviser. She can help you come to terms with your guilt and teach you ways to let go of it.