How Abandonment Affects Us

Abandonment by parents or other loved ones can have a profound effect on the life of an individual. Most commonly, abandonment occurs at an early age, when a person is only a child. A child may be abandoned because one or both parents are away for much of the time or don't give much in the way of affection, or because a parent has a problem, such as alcoholism, which affects how they treat the child.

Lead to Rebellion

• Abandonment during childhood can lead to an individual later expressing a need to rebel against authority figures such as parents and teachers, especially during the adolescent period when hormones dictate much of a person's behavior. In individuals with a history of abandonment, this is particularly the case because the teen is really trying to get the adults around him to tend to him and love him, as the essay "Robert Hawkins: A Case Study in the Effects of Unresolved Abandonment Issues" by J. Ray Rice explains. These teens thus rebel to test limits and to call out for attention.

Low Self-Esteem

• Being abandoned makes an individual feel as though others don't want her around, especially when it occurs at an early age. The result is an array of negative emotions, such as guilt, as the individual feels she has done something to deserve the abandonment, and confusion, as the person struggles to understand why she has been left behind. The low self-esteem that consequently develops from these feelings dictates the relationships the individual has in life, as she may find it difficult to make friends out of fear that they will then abandon her.

Affects Romantic Relationships

• Romantic abandonment, especially sudden abandonment, such as a surprise breakup with a partner, can occur at any stage of life and negatively affect how an individual acts with future partners. Having been betrayed or rejected before, the individual is likely to react strongly to implications that his new partner is going to abandon him. He might overreact to certain situations as a result, and in some extreme cases may not even want to be left by himself for long periods of time.

Survival Instinct

• Abandonment at an early age changes how a child develops, and many individuals faced with abandonment quickly become adept at simply surviving. Since their parents are not around or do not provide for as needed, these kids develop a survival instinct that often dominates their behavior and replaces normal childhood development. Such a survival instinct, and a need to avoid subsequent abandonment, becomes apparent in a range of situations, from friendships to careers. For example, the individual may experience problems in trusting others or sharing information.