How to Communicate With Low Self-Monitors

Psychologists have long been interested in the relations and discrepancies between the outer and inner selves. For example, a person might excessively drink alcohol at a party because the social situation requires them to do so, but this same person might be inquisitive, studious and intelligent in an academic environment. Essentially, there are people who vary in their outer and inner selves and in how they behave socially. These people are called "high self-monitors." Other people are relatively the same inside as they are outside. They do not change much from one situation to another, and are often considered asocial as a result. These people are called "low self-monitors."

Instructions

• 1

  Engage low self-monitors in polite, cheerful conversation. Don't buy into the stigma given to low-self monitors. People often approach low self-monitors with caution for fear that they are distrustful, perfectionist, stubborn, anxious and irritable. While this can potentially describe certain behaviors that extremely low-self monitors exhibit, it should be noted that the majority of low-self monitors are seen as being stable, consistent, honest, self-directed and trustworthy, and are easy-going in conversations.

• 2

  Don't force or pressure low self-monitors to act like high-self monitors in social situations. High self-monitors are generally seen as being fun, humorous, talkative, outgoing and expressive in social environments. This is because they assimilate well in a variety of circumstances. Low self-monitors, on the other hand, are often seen as shy and introspective in social circumstances.This is because they are less influenced by the demands of their environments, and they are more prone to look within. Because of these fundamental differences in character, it would be a mistake to require low-self monitors to act the same as do high self-monitors. Simply relax, and let them be who they are.

• 3

  Talk to low self-monitors like you would talk to anyone else. More sociable people tend to want to "fix" low self-monitors as though something were wrong with them. This should be discouraged. Simply put, they're normal people, and you likely talk to them all the time without knowing it. There is nothing inherently good or bad about being a low self-monitor, yet people generally favor high self-monitors when, in fact, neither is better or worse than the other. Simply put, they are simply two different approaches to the self --one inward, and one outward-- and should be viewed as neutrally as possible. No special treatment required.

• 4

  Understand what makes self monitors tick. From an advertising perspective, high self-monitors tend to favor products that promise to make them look good; low self monitoring prefer top quality. Extend that to a popular beer commercial and high self-monitors might prefer "less filling;" low self-monitors might prefer "taste great."