How to Control Emotions in Preteen Girls

Your preteen years are an emotional time in your life. Your body is producing new hormones that will cause you to experience both physical and emotional changes. You will begin to experience feelings that you've never felt before; you may notice that things that never used to upset you really bother you now--or that you have impulses to engage in behaviors that never appealed to you in the past. Learning how to handle these newfound emotions can be a challenge. To keep your emotions from leading to poor decision-making, it is important that you learn to manage your feelings in acceptable ways.

Instructions

• 1

  Put situations into context. Ask yourself if the situation that makes you feel emotional will matter a few years, or even days. Perhaps your mom said something that has put you in an angry mood. Think about the last time you were angry with your mom. The situation probably blew over quickly, so there's no reason to get overemotional and do something you may regret this time.

• 2

  Think before acting on your emotions. Oftentimes, the emotions themselves are not the problem. The problem arises when you act on those emotions in a destructive manner. Before you seek revenge on someone who upset you, consider the trouble you will cause if you get caught. Likewise, before you make an emotional decision to engage in sexual activities with a boy, think about how it would ruin your life to catch an STD or get pregnant.

• 3

  Allow yourself to feel. Controlling your emotions is not the same as denying that you have them. No matter how much you try to ignore your feelings, emotions will eventually reemerge and be even more difficult to manage because you bottled them up for so long. Instead, acknowledge how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way. Decide to either confront the situation in a constructive manner or seek another outlet for expressing yourself. You may choose to write in a diary, paint, go for a jog or dance, for example. All would be positive outlets for expressing yourself and releasing pent-up emotions.

• 4

  Talk to your friends and trusted adults about how you feel. Your friends are likely experiencing many of the same emotions, and adults remember what it was like to be a preteen. Your school likely has a guidance counselor trained to deal with the emotional needs of girls your age. Many times, simply talking through your emotions prevents them from becoming too unbearable to handle, so don't be embarrassed to reach out to others.

• 5

  Minimize stress in your life and get adequate amounts of sleep. Emotions tend to be stronger when your body is physically stressed or tired. Do all your schoolwork on time and work toward maintaining healthy relationships with the people in your life. Taking these steps will avoid burdening your body with the negative effects of unnecessary stress. Go to bed early to get the recommended 9 to 10 hours of sleep for girls your age.