How to Overcome Denial in a Partner

Those who work with people who are suffering from a mental illness, or who are addicted, are familiar with the concept of denial. Many people, who are neither mentally ill, nor addicted, also go through a period of denial at some period of their lives; it appears to be a common human response in certain circumstances. A person who has a serious health problem, or who is bereaved will often go through denial. It may be an essential step on the road to acceptance. If your partner is in denial, perhaps because she has a problem with depression or alcohol abuse, there are certain steps you can take to help her.

Instructions

• 1

  Accept the person but do not accept his denials. People with addiction, for instance, often behave in a manipulative away to avoid facing reality. Do not collude with this, or take responsibility for the way he is behaving. Show care and affection to the person and remain unwavering in your clear view of what is going on. Nurture yourself also and your children, if you have any.Try to keep a little part of you that is detached from the situation.

• 2

  Talk calmly and gently to your partner if he is in denial about an issue that he really should deal with, perhaps a health problem. Do not use emotional blackmail, or issue ultimatums, but tell him honestly of your worries and ask him to seek help. Tell him that you understand that he needs a little time to prepare himself and assure him that you will be there to support him, when he is ready to accept help.

• 3

  Protect yourself if your partner's denial puts you in danger in any way. Suggest that he seeks appropriate help if, for instance he is addicted to alcohol or gambling. Get the details of appropriate support groups, so if he is ready to seek help, you can act straight away. Offer to accompany him to see a physician or a counselor.