How Do I Get Help for My Hoarding Mom?

Most people are guilty of keeping hold of the odd item they no longer need or use. This is usually due to sentimental value or the honest intention of using it sometime in the future. However, compulsive hoarding is a genuine problem and a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder. An article on the Mayo Clinic website defines hoarding is defined as collecting items in excess while failing to throw anything else away. Watching a loved one live a hoarding lifestyle is often difficult and frustrating, especially as getting her to agree she needs help could prove challenging.

Instructions

• 1

  Communicate with your hoarding mom in a respectful and non-confrontational way. People who hoard usually have no idea they have a problem, Dr. Michael A Tompkins in an International Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Foundation website article. Even if she realizes she has an issue, she is unlikely to want to address it. This is frustrating for loved ones, especially if you have tried to discuss her hoarding in the past. Talking to her with respect, rather than arguing, slowly will help earn her trust.

• 2

  Resist the urge to judge your mom's behavior. You may find it hard to understand the conditions she lives in and why she continues to hoard things she does not need or use. Rather than judging her lifestyle, talk to her about it and encourage her to tell what she wants to happen. Ask her how her current way of life works with her desire to be a good mother, recommends Dr. David. F. Tolin for an Oprah website article.

• 3

  Talk to her about visiting a psychiatrist. She may react badly to this suggestion, but do not give up. Offer your support by saying you will attend the psychiatrist's appointment with her. If need be, arrange to visit a psychiatrist that specializes in treating hoarding by yourself first. This may help you work out the best way to approach your mom about her hoarding. It also will give you a better understanding of the condition itself.

• 4

  Make it clear to her that neither you nor anybody else will attempt to enter her home to throw any of her belongings away. This is a very real fear for hoarders and is often why they are so secretive about their lifestyle. Stick to your word, throwing things away behind her back will cause her to lose trust in you and lead to her isolating herself further.

• 5

  Explain how important it is for her health and safety that she clear small areas to allow her to do basic tasks, such as cook and maintain self-hygiene. Encourage her to clear a small area so she can access her bathroom and bath, this will enable her to use the toilet and bathe. Clearing the area around her refrigerator and cooking area is also important, aside from allowing her to eat properly, excess clutter in and around the kitchen area is a fire risk.

• 6

  Develop an action plan with her full involvement and if possible, with the help of a psychiatrist, to begin clearing small areas in other parts of her home. This may well be an overwhelming and seemingly impossible idea for you both. It is important to understand that it will be a long and slow process that you will have to approach in small sections, according to the Mayo Clinic website. Start with a drawer or small cupboard. Reassure her you are there for moral support and that items will only be thrown away with her approval.

• 7

  Explain the importance of getting veterinary care for any animals she may own. Hoarding animals is a common part of compulsive hoarding and while your mom may have good intentions, animals of hoarders are usually left in unsanitary conditions with improper nutrition and care. A full health check by a vet is important because if authorities decide to remove the animals, she could face charges of animal cruelty, according to an article on the Hoarding Animals Research Consortium website.