How to Encourage Someone With Co-Dependency

Co-dependency is a condition that affects a growing number of people. It affects the sufferer's ability to form normal, functional relationships, and also lowers self-esteem, which can make the problems worse. Codependency is a learned behavior, which means it is acquired by watching others who display the same behavior, but with persistence it can be overcome.

Instructions

• 1

  Identify the typical symptoms of codependency. Typically, codependents will have very low confidence, and therefore will struggle to relax and be themselves. They will want to help other people; becoming a carer for anyone in need, and will often make excuses for other people's bad behavior. They will do anything to keep a relationship; whether it is beneficial to them or not; so that they do not feel rejected.

• 2

  Look at the cause of the co-dependency. Most sufferers come from a dysfunctional background, which can include living with someone who had an addiction to drugs or alcohol, a mental health problem, or they may have witnessed -- or have been subjected to abuse.

• 3

  Talk to the sufferer about co-dependency. You could mention the topic as something you heard or read about, and ask if he has an opinion on the subject. If you have a book or leaflets about co-dependency, give these to him to read. He might recognize himself in the leaflets. Be positive and charismatic throughout the conversation, as you are trying to get him to recognize the problem, and encourage him to get help.

• 4

  Provide plenty of opportunities for the sufferer to talk about her problems with you. You could try opening up to the sufferer and asking for their advice on something, so that they may feel inclined to do the same thing.

• 5

  Research counselors in your area that specialize in co-dependency. As overcoming this can be a complex process. It is much better to involve someone who has dealt with this problem successfully before. Write down a few details, such as the counselors name, contact number and website, if one is available.

• 6

  Mention counseling. Pick your moment to do this very carefully -- you should be in a relaxed environment, and you should feel that the sufferer is ready for you to discuss co-dependency and how to help. Say that you found someone who helps with this type of thing, and reassure him that you will support him through the process. Make sure you have a positive, encouraging tone throughout the conversation.

• 7

  Offer support around the sessions. Ask when and where the sessions are, and offer to give the sufferer a lift, if possible. Be ready to talk about the sessions afterwards, and let her unload how she is feeling. This will encourage her to keep attending the appointments.