How to Avoid Bottling Up Anger

Anger is a secondary emotion. What this means is that it does not occur spontaneously. It is a result of hurt, sadness, jealousy, betrayal, and other similar emotions. Experiencing these feelings is inevitable; however, avoiding the pent-up anger that has resulted from them is entirely possible. It is crucial to follow a few steps in order to circumvent negative actions that may occur due to this negative emotion.

Instructions

    • 1

      Breathe. Once anger is recognized, it is imperative to stop, acknowledge the feeling and take a deep breath. Relax and inhale deeply as many times as necessary to become composed. Be aware of the bodily reactions taking place. Then, decide whether this feeling is worth all of this energy.

    • 2

      Talk about it. Once the feeling has been controlled, choose an appropriate time and setting to discuss the anger. If the irritation is directed toward a second party, first speak to a separate, trusted third party that has nothing to do with it. The third party should give rational advice regarding the matter. At this point, your mind will be more clear and ready to address the direct cause of the anger. When doing so, it is imperative not to attack or blame any specific individual. This will only cause an argument in most cases, which is the opposite of the desired goal. Phrases like "I'm angry because" should be the introduction to this type of conversation. This way, the second party will not feel threatened or defensive.

    • 3

      Listen. Once your feelings are made clear, and the second party knows exactly what is desired, make an effort to have a mature conversation. Show mutual respect by listening to the other person's side of things. Do not just let him talk; actually pay attention and grasp what he is saying. If you do not agree with what he says, breathe, and do not interrupt. Then acknowledge that his point of view is understood, and continue.

    • 4

      Exercise. Stay active if anger is truly a recurring problem. Working out releases endorphins in the brain that send calming sensations throughout the body. Whether it is a brisk walk in the neighborhood, lifting weights at the gym, or a meditation workout like yoga, any type of activity will relax the body. Aside from chemically improving your state of mind, staying active regularly brings forth self-fulfillment and positive vibes.

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