Signs You Are Being Mentally Abused

Many people think that abuse must include physical harm. However, even in the absence of physical abuse, people in emotional relationships can be abused mentally. Mental abuse may start out subtle and gradually escalate. Some emotional abusers are overt, meaning their abuse is very obvious, while others dish out covert emotional abuse, which is more subtle and may be harder to recognize.

Isolation and Control

• Mental abuse can include the abuser isolating and controlling the victim. An abuser may attempt to isolate you from your family and friends. An abuser may attempt to keep tabs on you at all times, demanding to know your whereabouts at every hour of the day. If the abuser controls all your actions, you may eventually feel that you can't make your own decisions without first getting your abuser's consent.

Fearfulness

• Mental abusers often instill a feeling of fearfulness in their victims. Feeling fearful around a person or having an overall feeling that you must constantly "walk on eggshells" around someone are red flags for mental abuse. Abusers may often criticize you; sooner or later, you may be left feeling that you can't say or do anything right. You may be excessively criticized, frequently corrected, or even publicly humiliated.

Emotional Blackmail

• An emotional abuser may ignore his victim at times, giving the "cold shoulder" in response to something he didn't like or something that made him feel jealous. Bringing up things that may upset you or manipulating you and your feelings can be signs of emotional abuse. An abuser may also threaten abandonment or rejection if his demands are not met.

Invalidation

• A mental abuser may invalidate his victim's feelings. Being able to talk openly about your feelings is a part of any healthy relationship. An abuser may refuse your attempts to talk about your feelings or tell you that you're making a big deal out of nothing; eventually, you may be too afraid to talk about your feelings at all. An emotional abuser may even turn the tables by telling you that you hurt him when you try to speak to him about your feelings. He may deflect blame, change the topic, and leave you feeling guilty for bringing it up in the first place.