How to Achieve Self Confidence

Some people lack self-confidence. This is often due to lack of adequate emotional support in childhood, trauma or mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. Having self-confidence can increase your success and happiness. Strategies that involve changing negative thinking patterns may be effective for improving self-esteem.

Instructions

• 1

  Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Low self-confidence results from negative thinking about yourself. When you notice negative thoughts such as -- I am fat or I will never get a better job -- immediately tell yourself to stop. Reverse the negative statement into a positive one, such as "I am beautiful just the way I am" or "I will get a better job."

• 2

  Think critically. Negative thinking patterns also influence our perception of events and facts. If you observe yourself thinking "they don't talk to me because they don't like me," evaluate the situation further. Perhaps someone does not talk to you because they are busy, or because you have not introduced yourself. Often there are multiple explanations for events and behaviors, and focusing on the more positive ones can significantly improve self-confidence.

• 3

  Make a list of past successes. Some people may feel that they do not succeed at anything. While everyone fails sometimes, everyone also succeeds. Make a list of past successes, even those that seem insignificant. Maybe you lost 5 pounds last year or planted a flower garden. Any task that you have completed is a success. Focusing on successes decreases focus on failures and improves self-confidence.

• 4

  Attempt a task that you know will complete successfully. Simple tasks, such as completing a household chore provide a sense of satisfaction. Gradually increase the complexity of tasks. For example, approach a stranger and start a conversation if you fear meeting new people. If your dream is to start a business, write a business plan or talk to a loan officer. Gradually desensitizing yourself to situations in which you lack confidence builds self-confidence slowly with a greater likelihood of success.