Description of the Kublar-Ross Stages of Grief

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed the five stages of grief while working with terminal cancer patients, to describe the mental and emotional phases of the dying process. The grief model is primarily aimed at helping dying patients and their support team understand and deal with the distress brought on by the patients' impending death. Although it has evolved into a change model, which has been adapted to other traumatic events such as crime, injury and relationship disintegration.

Denial

• When patients first receive the news of their impending death, their first reaction is denial. The same reaction frequently hits people receiving news of a loved one's unexpected death. In both cases, they just can't believe this is happening. Denial is a coping mechanism that prevents the shock and wave of emotions from being overwhelming. It's a way of slowing things down so that each person can take in the news at a rate that he can handle.

Anger

• Denial fades, and anger takes over. For those mourning a loved one, the anger may be aimed at anyone. They may be looking for someone to blame, or may just need to be angry because the anger keeps them anchored to someone and keeps them from drowning in grief. Terminal patients will become incensed, resentful. They're looking for someone or something to blame. The anger may be intense, but it must be worked through in order for the patient to move on to the next stage.

Bargaining

• Anger gives way to bargaining with God, or one's Higher Power. This phase is marked by the phrase. "I'll do anything, if you just let me live a little longer; just until..." the wedding, the birth, the graduation or some other meaningful event. The dying patient suddenly feels that she isn't ready yet, that she needs more time. This is not a step for those mourning a loved one, because there is nothing they can do that will bring back a loved one.

Depression

• For those mourning a loss, this stage doesn't fit into the usual definition of "depression." This stage of bereavement is considered a natural response to loss of a loved one. For the terminally ill, there may be the usual signs of clinical depression: inability to concentrate, feeling too sad to engage in the life that they have left, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, feelings of emptiness. At this stage, the patients are giving in to the inevitable, but they aren't at peace with it.

Acceptance

• For dying patients, this is the stage where they accept their impending death and are okay with it. They can engage in what remains of their life while they are able to do so. For those mourning a loved one, acceptance isn't about being okay with the loved ones' death. It's about moving through the grief at their own pace and reaching the point where they can choose to move on with their lives. It's not "okay," it's just different and they can live with it.