Signs and Symptoms of a Pathological Liar

A lie. A falsehood. A ruse. A fleece. Everyone, at some point or another, finds themselves either telling or discerning a lie. For some, however, telling a fabrication can become such regular behavior that they pretend not to notice when they are found out. Such a person can tell such an extraordinary tale that everyone who hears it wonders about the veracity of it. The pathological liar can display this aberrant behavior without the slightest sign of shame. Fortunately, the signs of a pathological liar are almost as bold as the stories they tell.

When Did It Become Pathological?

• In her book "The Sociopath Next Door," 2005, Martha Stout, Ph.D., writes that about one out every 25 people is born without a conscience. No feelings, no emotions, and worst of all, no remorse. Too much baggage, maybe. But how do people come to be like this? Most experts agree that the age of onset of this behavior is about 14 or 15 years old. And it is not strictly male or female behavior; the numbers split evenly for both sexes.

Pathological Motivation

• Many people lie in order to keep out of trouble. While this is bad behavior, it is not usually serious. However, if it becomes habitual to the point of mundane, that should signify a warning for those around the person. The pathological and the chronic liar both display a need to be noticed more than average. A lack of self-esteem may make the person feel that they have to 'one up' everyone else. Stories may include famous people, heroic deeds or superhuman ability at some activity. Typically, there is no way for anyone to check on the facts as the details are always sketchy.

The Goal of a Pathological Liar

• You have to remember that a person like this has only one goal, and it's all about them. They manipulate others constantly for their personal gain. They often have an inflated sense of self-importance. They are often recklessly impulsive to show off. They are the first to blame others for their own mistakes, and they may either become nonplussed or hostile when cross-examined. Although narcissism plays a role in each of their lives to some degree, not all of them are diagnosed with that disorder. In individuals diagnosed with chronic antisocial personality disorder, a sociopath, pathological lying is nearly always present. If this behavior is linked with other bad behavior, such as promiscuity, larceny, enuresis, or other attention-getting behavior, it may indicate deeper mental illness is present.

Coping with a Pathological Liar

• Pathological liars always have all the defense mechanisms they need to prevail, or at least fool themselves into thinking that they are prevailing. Family members and those living with one need to arm themselves accordingly. These people leave a trail of misery and shame in their wake, but it is often a shock to them when they are told. If you are in love with one, you are in for a bumpy ride indeed. You have to see through the ruse, even when the person cannot stop lying. A fact that must never be forgotten is that a pathological liar can look you directly in the eye and act like they are taking a solemn oath as they lie.