How to Get Your Husband to Stop Drinking

If you want your husband to stop drinking, there is no surefire way to convince him to do so. Ultimately it is up to him to recognize the damage it causes himself, his family and those close to him. Although there is nothing you can do that will guarantee your husband will stop drinking, Jessica Vincent, an addictions counselor with the Singapore National Children's Society, says there are ways to encourage your husband to give up the addiction for good.

Instructions

• 1

  Stop telling your husband to quit drinking. The more your tell him to stop and the more he refuses to listen, the more likely you are to feel emotionally drained. You cannot control your husband's drinking, but you can control your emotions. Make your position clear with a firm, controlled conversation when your husband is sober. But beyond that, don't keep trying to drive the point home. Words seldom have an impact on an alcoholic.

• 2

  Support your husband, but do not support the addiction. This means do not buy him alcohol and do not drop him off at bars or a friend's house where he plans to drink. Do not pick him up when he is too drunk to drive and take the keys when he plans to go out drinking. Let him get his own taxi or his own ride if he wants to drink too much. On the other hand, don't punish him for getting drunk. Keep the addiction separate from the rest of his behaviors. For example, if he needs a ride to work, give him one. Engage with your husband when he is sober, but when drinking leave him to his own devices.

• 3

  Establish boundaries and make them clear to your husband in a controlled, firm manner. If your husband turns mean or acts out when he is drunk, refuse to go places in public with him when he is drinking. If he gets violent when drunk, go elsewhere when he drinks.

• 4

  Give your husband more attention when he is sober. Remember, alcoholism is a disease. You don't want to support the addiction, but you do want to support your husband. Go out with him when he is sober, have fun with him, talk about the boundaries you want to establish when he is sober, show him love and affection when he's sober and tell him about the things he's done to hurt you when he is drunk. Refrain from being confrontational. Rather, speak with your husband in an affectionate manner, while remaining firm with your conclusions.

• 5

  Go to a marriage counselor and, while he is sober, request that your husband go. Explain you want your marriage to work and you feel both of you could benefit from some help. A marriage counselor can help him understand his addiction better and refer him to either an addiction counselor or Alcoholic Anonymous for additional counseling and support. In addition, a marriage counselor can help you deal with his addiction.