9 Stages of Grief

When you are faced with a tragedy, you will pass through several emotional stages as you cope with and, ultimately, accept the situation. In 1969, a Swiss doctor named Elizabeth Kübler-Ross developed a five stage grief cycle which outlined the specific way in which people deal with trauma. Since then, the cycle has been expanded upon and fine-tuned to include more stages.

Shock

• When you first learn of a tragedy, your initial reaction may be one of disbelief. Many people experience a numb or surreal sensation. You may feel as though you are not entirely present or emotionally attached to what is happening.

Denial

• As the shock diminishes, you may feel frantic with the gravity of what has happened. You may refuse to believe that anything has happened and deny the truth. This stage may feel like acceptance as you pretend nothing has changed.

Anger

• Once the reality of your loss has set in, you will begin to become emotionally attached to the experience. In many cases, anger is the first emotion people feel. You may blame yourself or others. You may become frustrated with the injustice of your loss and rail against the powers that be.

Physical Distress

• As emotions take over, your body may begin to show signs of distress and anxiety. You may feel weak, tired, short of breath or develop ulcers. You may also lose your appetite or start eating uncontrollably. Your body is under a great deal of stress and pressure as you process your grief.

Guilt

• Many people feel guilty or somehow responsible for the events that have transpired. You may blame yourself for what has happened and feel heavy with the burden of responsibility.

Bargaining

• In a final effort to erase the tragedy, you may try to compromise or bargain with others. For spiritual people, you may try bargaining with a higher power, promising good behavior, for example, in exchange for the return of a loved one.

Depression

• When you finally become emotionally engaged in your loss, depression will set in. You may isolate yourself and become introspective. As you reflect on what has happened, you may feel a deep sense of sadness. The darkness of depression can hold people for a long time as they struggle to find a way out.

Testing

• As you emerge from depression, you will begin trying out methods of activating your life again. Now is a good time for attending support groups, seeking therapy or reclaiming some normalcy in your life. Reach out to friends and try to communicate your feelings.

Acceptance

• Gradually, you will begin to accept the reality of your loss. As you recover, your outlook on life will become more positive and hopeful. You will still feel the loss but will be able to experience it more objectively and less emotionally.