Conflict Avoidance Strategies

Conflict occurs when two or more parties believe there is a threat to their individual needs, interests or concerns. Conflicts involve disagreements and differences of opinion. Sometimes misunderstandings exacerbate disagreements or create perceptions of disagreement that do not reveal true conditions. Threatening situations elicit different kinds of responses from people. Some people engage threats aggressively, while others may engage with diplomacy to resolve conflicts. People who fear conflict may employ conflict avoidance strategies, because they fear pain or desire approval.

Swallow Feelings

• A person who avoids conflict by concealing his feelings is known as a feeling-swallower. The tactic involves concealing one's true feelings, emotions or opinions. A feeling swallower seeks approval from others and values approval more than expressing personal pain or distress. Feeling swallowers may smile while experiencing fear, pain or depression. Feeling swallowers do not work toward conflict resolution and may allow others to take advantage, abuse or injure them.

Change Subject

• Some people use a conflict avoidance strategy that attempts to conceal a point of conflict by changing the subject. Subject-changes may believe that the issue or issues involved with a particular conflict are too complex or difficult to deal with. Subject changers attempt to distract conflicting parties by highlighting less contentious issues. Subject changers do not work toward conflict resolution and may create a backlash by postponing or preventing resolution of important conflict issues.

Overt Avoidance

• A person who goes out of her way to avoid conflict employs an overt conflict avoidance strategy. These avoiders want to hide, retreat or escape from conflict. The overt avoider may alter her lifestyle and behavior to avoid specific places, people or activities.

Self-Induced Self Deception

• People use self-deception to protect themselves from themselves and from other things that may harm them. Intentional self-deception is self-induced self-deception. Self-inducing self-deceivers intentionally adopt false opinions or beliefs to avoid pain or disappointment. The self-induced self-deceiving conflict avoider actually desires a particular outcome or resolution of a particular conflict, but lies to himself about those desires to avoid conflict. These conflict avoiders may refuse to acknowledge factual information and develop deep internal conflicts that lead to feelings of alienation and an inability to know the self.