Ways to Cope With Aggressive Behavior

Aggressive behavior disrespects the needs, emotions and thoughts of others and can even debase and frighten other people. Whether you are the person interacting with an adult or child who displays aggressive behavior, or you are attempting to control your own behavior, there are methods to help you cope.

Aggression In Children

• When a child hits, kicks, bites, or bullies other children, he is displaying inappropriate aggressive behavior. To cope with this behavior and teach him how to deal with his own anger and frustration, set limits with him. These limits need to be nonnegotiable and consistent, so your child knows which behaviors are allowed and which ones are not.

  You can also encourage your child to use methods other than violence when dealing with his anger. Tell him to use his words and praise him when he does this. Lead by example. Resolve family arguments in a non-aggressive manner and express your anger in nonviolent ways. Since a child is not born with self-control, you need to instill this in him by teaching him to think about his actions before acting.

Aggression In Adults

• When dealing with an adult who displays aggressive behavior, be assertive. This helps stop the aggressor from taking advantage of you and can even earn you his respect, not to mention help you respect yourself. When being assertive, begin statements with "I" to express yourself. This relays your thoughts without accusing and upsetting the other person. Simply say "no" to your aggressor without apologizing or making excuses. You do not have to offer more than a brief explanation. If the person you're dealing with is particularly intimidating, practice what you want to say before encountering the person. This keeps you from becoming flustered or being bullied.

  Your posture is also very important when dealing with aggressive behavior. Stand upright while leaning slightly forward, and make eye contact. Maintain a neutral facial expression; don't show nervousness or anger. However, if the aggressor's behavior and anger are out of control, walk away. You do not want to be involved in a violent altercation.

Aggression In Yourself

• If you are the person intimidating and bullying others, you can learn to cope with your aggressive behavior by attending anger management counseling. Anger management counseling will help you recognize the things that prompt you to become angry, realize when your anger is starting to build and learn how to change your actions when confronted by frustrating conditions. You can also attend anger management classes that teach you techniques to express your anger in appropriate ways.