How to Deal With Controlling People

Insecure and fearful people often overcompensate by trying to control everything around them. Fear of failure usually fuels the need for control. For many controlling people, less than perfection will never do. Dealing with controlling people in your life takes skill, tact and knowledge. Manipulation is their weapon; your goal is to disarm them while maintaining your dignity.

Things You'll Need

• Computer with access to the Internet
• Library card (if necessary)

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Instructions

• 1

  Respond, not react. Controlling people will use emotional sabotage in two ways. One, to extort an emotional reaction from you, forcing you to engage in battle. Two, to distract you from the issue and maintain control. If you remain calm and do not fall prey to their emotional trap, the tension they tried to create is deflated. The conversation is no longer on their terms.

• 2

  Treat controlling people in a manner which you would like to be treated. In other words, kill them with kindness. This blocks any excuse--real or imagined--to be defensive or angry toward you if they feel things are not going their way.

• 3

  Walk away. If you've asked yourself: "What am I getting out of this relationship? Is it worth all this effort to maintain a relationship with this person?" the answers may be negative. Controlling people will often resort to name calling and even threats to hold on to the reins. This is a form of abuse, in every sense of the word. If you find yourself at the hands of a person who shows little or no respect for you as an individual, it may be time to walk away.

• 4

  Connect to others in similar situations. Use the Internet as a tool. Whether you decide to ride out the waves of the relationship or cut ties, don't be afraid to reach out.