How to Manage Difficult Behaviors in Children

Parents and teachers understand the care and guidance needed to help children become productive autonomous individuals. Sometimes children exhibit behavior that may be difficult to manage. According to a 2002 audio conference, "Managing Difficult Behavior in Young Children," 40 percent of severe aggression among children usually begins before age eight. It is important to learn the skills necessary to help a child whose behavior has spun out of control.

Things You'll Need

• Several placards
• Poster boards
• Different color stars
• Colored pencils

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Instructions

Managing the Behavior

• 1

  Address the behavior immediately. Don't fall into the trap of thinking a certain behavior is cute or precocious. If behaviors are not handled early, the child may view inappropriate behavior as an acceptable way to deal with conflict. When reprimanding the child, speak in a calm, firm voice. This can be difficult as a parent or teacher when you're angry. However, when dealing with problem behavior in children, it's best to model the behavior you expect to see in the child.

• 2

  Identify the underlying cause of the inappropriate behavior. Difficult behavior from children can result from a variety of factors like temperament, family stress and mental health issues. A child's temperament is inherited and part of her personality. Learn to address issues of temperament by helping her to respect the boundaries of others and by using self-restraint.

  Family stress from marital difficulties, money issues and divorce can aggravate poor behavior in children. For parents, try family counseling and local parenting groups to help manage internal family problems. Sometimes the child may be exhibiting difficult behavior due to mental health problems or developmental delays. Therapy and medication management are remedies for those diagnosed with mental illness. Teachers who identify problem behavior should maintain an open line of communication with the parent. The teacher and parent have to be a team in managing difficult behavior.

  Teachers and parents can also work together to address difficult behaviors related to developmental delays. Parents can request a meeting with the child's teacher to discuss special services available at the school through special education services. Sometimes children exhibit inappropriate behavior because of learning disabilities. If a child is having trouble keeping up at school, the difficult behavior could be a mask for it.

• 3

  Set clear, consistent rules, whether you are the parent or teacher. Give short, direct rules for her to follow. Rattling off too many directions at once can frustrate the child and will usually make her act even worse, especially if the child is younger than eight years old. In frustration, parents may give into whining or nagging just to get some peace from the situation. Obliging your child with a toy or candy may work temporarily but rarely works in the long term. Just like the U.S. Constitution has the Bill of Rights, try a play on words and create your own 10 Rules of the House. Place the rules on a placard and hang it in her room. Make it into a creative activity by engaging the child in decorating the placard.

  Teachers can set up a merit "star system" where the child earns stars that add up to points at the end of the week. The points can be used to buy treats or stationary items with "play" money. For example, five points could buy a cool looking pencil and 10 points a candy bar. Be as creative as you'd like.

• 4

  Reward good and respectful behavior by pointing out positive behavior as it occurs. For example, say, "I like the way you're cleaning your room," or "Thanks for sharing with your classmate. I really like that." These are simple techniques that don't cost anything, but they help to reinforce appropriate, positive behavior and the reward is psychological. It helps the child feel like an active participant in managing her own behavior.