Supportive Counseling Techniques

Counseling is an intimidating process for many people. Some people don't feel comfortable sharing intimate details about their lives with someone they don't know. Because of that, it's up to the counselor to take the time build trust and develop a rapport with a client. Getting into a steady conversation is the first hurdle and, once it's passed, the counselor's responsibility is to be supportive, and that can be done in several ways.

Know Yourself

• Before you spend time preparing for your client and developing a treatment plan, familiarize yourself with the reason your client is coming in for counseling. Counseling and therapy are accepting processes. If there is a chance that your personal thoughts or opinions may impact your ability to be supportive, you should reconsider seeing the client and consider offering him a referral. For example, if you are providing counseling for family planning and you and the organization you work for hold a more conservative view on abortion, would you be able to effectively counsel a young woman who was pro-choice that made the decision to have an abortion? Whether purposeful or not, your personal views and opinions do have a way of playing out in your work.

  Be honest with yourself about your boundaries to minimize any miscommunication or misunderstanding with the client. It is not the counselor's role to impose his views upon a client. It is possible for a counselor to see a client where he disagrees with a choice or decision the client has made. The counselor's only responsibility is to be supportive of his client, whether he agrees with her or not. However, the line must be drawn in instances where a counselor feels a client needs intervention for a condition (i.e. a counselor strongly believes the client is suffering from severe depression) or when the client is impeding her own ability to be successful in therapy (i.e. a client who is abusing substances when it is has been communicated that the behavior is unacceptable and counterproductive in counseling).

Just Listen

• Listening is a supportive approach to building a rapport with a client. Ambitious counselors and therapists have a tendency to want to be helpful. What's wrong with being helpful? As a counselor you must be helpful to a client based on her terms. It can be tempting for a counselor to want to immediately "fix" a situation and jump right into problem solving mode. Give it time and just listen to the client. Many clients come to counseling because they just want to be listened to. It is common for family and friends to offer their opinions and suggestions when most people just want to be heard. Let her fully communicate her thoughts and feelings and support her on that journey. Ask questions only for clarity.

  Learn to tolerate silence in a session. For many clients, the silence in a session is one of the few times they have to experience quietness without being required to do or say something. Don't break it by talking. Silence is a direct conduit for a client reaching an alternative or solution, because it gives her time to think.

Relate as a Person, Not an Expert

• Self disclosure in counseling or therapy is a very risky concept. Some counselors think you should never do it and some believe wholeheartedly in it. Clients will often ask a counselor, "What would you do if you were me?" or "If that were you, how would you handle it?" Answering these questions from a personal perspective is a slippery slope because it deflects from the client's problem solving.

  You have to know your client well enough to anticipate how he will accept what you say. If you have a client that you feel is mentally balanced and making progress who has lost a parent, it is okay to say, "I empathize with you---I too have lost a parent." It doesn't really have to go much further than that; a statement like that communicates that you understand how they're feeling and are supporting them by acknowledging that the grieving process is difficult.

  Most clients want a healthy connection to another person. After establishing some boundaries with your client, using self-disclosure, in the right circumstances, to forward the counseling process can be impactful and allows the client to respect you as a peer vs. an "expert."