How to Stop Feeling Guilty

Guilt can prove a crippling emotion for those racked with these negative feelings. All sorts of circumstances might lead to guilt, everything from feeling bad about how you behaved toward a friend or loved one to feeling guilty about things that are completely out of your control, such as being blessed with good health while others in the world suffer from poor health. Guilt can spring from clinical depression, and not treating it can worsen that depression. Even if it does not have its roots in depression, it can lead to depression if untreated.

Identifying Sources of Guilt

• Make a list of the issues at hand that make you feel guilty. Don't let yourself be ashamed to express these thoughts at first. You're making a personal list that no one else need see. Even if you can acknowledge that the things making you feel guilty are beyond your control, write them down on your "guilt list." You cannot begin to overcome depressive thoughts until you tackle the issues behind those thoughts.

Rearranging Your View

• Review each item on your list and look for negative self-talk. Any time you wrote something like "I'm horrible," "I'm not good enough" or "I'm letting others down," make a check mark. For each check mark, try to rearrange your point of view; write the feeling from a less negative point of view, which doesn't put all of the blame on you. For example, if you wrote, "I let my child down; I didn't make it to his school concert," write something like, "My child was sad that I couldn't make it to his concert. I tried, but I was stuck at work" or even, "I forgot about the concert, and I feel bad, but I'm usually supportive of my child's interest in singing."

Alleviating Guilt

• Recognize that you only have control over your own actions, so take what steps you can. Go over your list and identify issues for which you can make some amends. If an apology is in order, apologize to a friend or loved one. Do something nice to show your loved one how much you appreciate them. If it's some wider social issue that makes you feel guilty, such as having enough food to eat while others starve, recognize that you can only make so much impact on the issue at large -- but do what you can to make a little impact and feel a little better. For example, volunteer to work at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.

Seek Counseling

• If guilt is impacting your life so much that you cannot stop thinking about it, you may be experiencing clinical depression. Watch for signs of depression, such as becoming withdrawn from other people and finding yourself less likely to enjoy things you once enjoyed. Seek professional help immediately. Speak to your doctor for a reference or look for a professional counselor at a community center or a house of worship. You may also find a support group. Even if it's a short-term bout of depression, a counselor or support group leader can help you work through your issues with guilt with professional objectivity.