About Loneliness

Everyone feels lonely at times, but it is important to distinguish true loneliness from merely being alone. Solitude is often desirable or required in order to accomplish creative work, but prolonged loneliness can have serious detrimental consequences, including sickness. Loneliness is not always a bad thing, however. It can be a natural reaction to the loss of a loved one. Address loneliness honestly rather than attempting to mask its painful effects.

Loneliness and Isolation

• The conventional image of a lonely person is someone with very few or no friends. The perception is that the lonely person lacks the necessary social skills to make friends. According to Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary, loneliness is associated with involuntary solitude and the sadness that results from being cut off from satisfactory interaction with others.
  Still, many lonely people have a wide circle of friends or acquaintances, and may be very popular. A major component of being lonely is the feeling that one cannot truly share with others, or that others would be put off by an honest expression of one's feelings. Superficial interactions, however pleasurable, cannot replace truly relating to another person.

Loneliness and Love

• The loss of a relationship, whether through death or separation, is a major cause of loneliness. Loneliness that stems from grieving the loss of a loved one is natural. While painful, such grief usually passes after a reasonable period. On the other hand, there is a real danger of rebounding into a new relationship simply to fill the void left by the loss of the old relationship. Such rebound romances have a very low chance of success.

Loneliness and Stress

• Holidays can be stressful for anyone, but especially for lonely people who see others enjoying the company of friends and loved ones (or pretending to do so), and feel left out. Some lonely people cope by hiding during the holidays; others overindulge in order to mask their pain. Neither approach is particularly healthy. One coping strategy is volunteering to help those who are less fortunate and who may also be lonely.

Lonliness and Illness

• A study conducted by the University of Chicago found that loneliness is a significant risk factor for high blood pressure in older people, leading to blood pressure readings as much as 30 points higher than older people who were not lonely. This outcome was true even when depressive symptoms and perceived stress were taken into account. A fairly recent phenomenon associated with loneliness and isolation is computer addiction. While computers can be a valuable communication tool for people with disabilities, computers can also become an unhealthy substitute for face-to-face interaction.

Misconceptions

• Distinguishing between loneliness and voluntary solitude is important. Being alone does not automatically make someone lonely. Many creative people crave solitary time where they can be free from distraction and concentrate fully on the task at hand. Conversely, being in the company of others does not prevent loneliness.The phrase "alone in a crowd" is a reminder that one can be surrounded by others and yet feel completely disconnected.
  Although loneliness and depression are frequently associated, they are not always linked. Not all lonely people are depressed, and not all depressed people are lonely. People who are chronically lonely are more likely to be depressed than those whose loneliness stems from an acute cause, such as the death of a loved one.